


Lounge Act

by HoneyAteez



Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Break Up, Cheating, Comedy, Crying, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Halloween, Jealousy, M/M, Masturbation, Party, Pining, Possessive Behavior, Shameless Smut, Sneaking, Voyeurism, theres just a lot of drama ok
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-18
Updated: 2020-02-01
Packaged: 2021-02-27 14:26:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 37,922
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22298545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HoneyAteez/pseuds/HoneyAteez
Summary: The apartment you share has thin walls. Disgustingly thin walls.  You and Yunho were best friends up until your shared roomate Seonghwa asked you to be his girlfriend. Yunho thinks everything sucks because now he has to hear you fuck him night after night through the walls. Third roommate San just wants everyone to get along like before, and the neighbor Hongjoong wont stop bringing you fucking fruit baskets.
Relationships: Ateez - Relationship, Choi San/Jung Wooyoung, Jeong Yunho/Reader, Kim Hongjoong/Park Seonghwa, Kim Hongjoong/Song Mingi, Park Seonghwa/Reader
Comments: 40
Kudos: 121





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> (Also Hongjoong has a thing for Seonghwa on the side. But Mingi has a thing for Hongjoong. so yknow. Everyone just wants to be loved.)
> 
> this is absolutely not proofread, I have a shit ton of mistakes, sentence fragments, and probably too many commas.   
> i write casually SO DONT JUDGE ME

Yunho has always been especially bad at hiding his feelings. So when Seonghwa asked you to be exclusive with him, right there in your shared living room-- you couldn't help but notice the way Yunho closed in on himself for the rest of the night. Despite your heart trembling for the man who had just officially made you his. You can't help but just **notice** how much Yunho has changed since that exact moment.

And it wouldn't even be that noticeable if it wasn't for the fact that everyone else in this house is perfectly fine and normal. San is still being himself, scream singing in the shower and shamelessly walking around naked. No embarrassment at the way he acts towards you. The friendship is just **that comfortable.** And it's been that way for all four of you ever since everyone agreed to move in together. But now it seems like Yunho isn't comfortable anymore. He avoids eye contact with you, even with Seonghwa at times. But the moment it's pointed out (by San of course) he just laughs it off and says that absolutely nothing has changed. That he was “rooting for you” from the moment Seonghwa and you met. That he's “just tired” from studying. Or from cooking. Maybe from cleaning or even watching tv.

He always played it off that he was just tired. (But he never mentions that he wasn't lying. His room is right next to yours. And ever since that night, Seonghwa has slowly been staying in your room more and more at night.)

Sure you and Yunho have been friends for several years longer than the time you've known Seonghwa and San. But the moment you met them it was as if you had known them just as long. You felt happy, content, like you could all really make it in this world **together.** You and Yunho have always had this weird little thing, but you've always been an over thinker. Besides, Seonghwa was a very loving and sweet man. Speaking and showing how he feels without hesitation. It was hard **not** to fall absolutely head over hills in love with him. It seemed at times that everyone loved him regardless of what he did. So of course when he asked **you,** of all people to be with him. You jumped at the opportunity. Not fully understanding that maybe, just maybe. Whatever it was between You and Yunho. It wasn't just nothing.

~

“Hello?”

“Hey!!! Im knocking on your door! So open up!”

You hear the faint voice cracking into your deep sleep, a very familiar voice. A very **annoying** voice. Seonghwa sighs next to you, clearly having zero intention of climbing out of the warm bundle of blankets he's managed to sink himself into.  
“Yunho!” You shout out, causing the man next to you to whine in response, lowering his head below the blankets in an effort to stifle your yelling.

“Yunho, Get the door!” You yell again, hitting the wall knowing damn well he hears you.

The pounding on the apartment door continues to knock, it doesn't stop. It never does when **he** decides to come by. While the knocks on the door becomes more loud, more frequent, and the whining of the man behind it begins to get louder. You realize Yunho isn't going to get it. In a huff you pull Seonghwa's arms off of your waist. To his displeasure, he rolls over.

You pad down the hallway, through the kitchen and notice in the corner of your eye that San was sitting on the couch in a towel, clearly having just showered. You feel the need to slap him in the head later for not getting the _**fucking door**_.

You swing the door open in the middle of a very harmonious knock sequence the man on the other side had just decided to produce on the spot.

“Again Joong? What time is it exactly?“

The man on the other side of the door smiles, holding a basket of mangoes clearly far too heavy for him. You can see that at least 10 mangoes had fallen out of the basket. Probably during his attempts to make sick beats on your door.

“It's like one in the afternoon, shut up. Look what I got.” The man says, shoving past you and immediately dropping the mango basket on the ground. Spilling them all over.

You decide that even if it really is one in the afternoon, you're not dealing with this. You watch as Hongjoong immediately mutters a small “shit.” to himself and bend down to pick up every single mango that he had dropped.

“When you're done cleaning, feel free to cut some up for us. Most of us are still sleeping.” You say to him, knowing he was going to be staying for a while anyways. Every time he comes over, he just decides he going to invite himself to everything you do for the whole day. He's a fun guy, totally and completely in love with my boyfriend, but still a fun guy.

He smiles up at you, nodding his head. He was going to do that anyway. Why else would be bring a whole fucking basket of mangoes over?

By the time you're back in your room, Seonghwa is sitting up, hair a mess and rubbing his eyes.

“What was that loud bump I just heard?” He says, in a voice still heavy from sleep.

“The mango man came.”

“Mango man?”

“Hongjoong brought a basket of mangoes this time.”

Seonghwa stifles a laugh. Eyes finally opening fully, sparkling in the light of the afternoon sun.

“What are you laughing for? He's always bringing weird shit over to our house. I find it funny that he has bulk amounts of fruits, toilet paper, eggs, and everything else he has brought over. But he still manages to run out of milk ever three days. I'm starting to think Hongjoong wants to move in with us.”

“Y/n. Do you remember last time he was here?”

“Yeah, he ate the last pizza roll. We made him leave.”

“Well, yeah but I mean. Do you remember all of us discussing what kind of fruits we liked best? And I said I really liked mango?”

You pause for a second. Seonghwa just immediately starts laughing again.

“How obvious can one person be?!”

~

It's been a couple of hours now since Hongjoong invited himself in, piles of cut mangoes sitting in front of you. Hongjoong is just beaming, because Seonghwa thanked him for the mangoes and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

You weren't offended. It's cute how he indulges in the love everyone throws at him. There's a line somewhere though, somewhere that you know someone will eventually reach. But you don't worry about it. You've never been incredibly jealous, especially with the way Seonghwa shares intimate moments with you, eyes burning, where no one else in the world seems to exist except for the two of you.

Yunho came out of his room an hour or so after you managed to pull yourself and your boyfriend out of bed. San had already eaten a fair share of the fruits, he was sprawled out on the couch, chewing quietly and watching some lame talk show like he does when he has nothing better to do. But he has since already beckoned all of you into the living room with him. Crossing his legs and bouncing perfectly into the seat of the couch he claims as his own. (And gets very upset if anyone else sits there.)

“So. . .Halloween. I know we've all been kind of doing our own thing but I got a text today from Mingi and--”  
“Mingi?! Didn't he move away so he could go to school like 4 hours away?”

“Yeah, that Mingi. Anyway, he said his friend is throwing a huge Halloween party this year, and he really wants to hang out with all of us again.” San stops for a second, pops a piece of fruit in his mouth, chews a bit, and continues. “ So, we gonna do a group costume or??”

Hongjoong noticeably perks up. “Can I go too?”

Everyone shrugs, basically telling him the more the merrier. He's all in regardless.

“I vote that we all go as pirates.” Hongjoong says loudly, jumping to the center expecting a roar from the crowd of exactly 4 people.

“How about not that, and we all go as whatever we want?” Yunho says, as normal as ever.

You feel happy seeing him join into the conversation. Sure it's normal. No one else really seems to have noticed how he has truly closed in on himself lately. Small things here and there, but you're the one who feels like you're walking on egg shells with him constantly. But then again you've been told by San that you're over reacting. So maybe you shouldn't be thinking so hard into the fact that one of your room mates of 4 years is joining into the conversation.

San lets out a small gasp. “Just. . .hear me out guys.”

“Hear me out. Okay? Just--...”

Seonghwa was about to absolutely **not** hear him out. But San spoke too fast.

“Let's go as the golden girls.”

Silence.

Yunho leans over the couch and smack him gently across the head.

“We are going as whatever we want.” He says, glancing at you for a moment then back to San.

“I'm going as glitter then.” San says, knowing full well how much I hate glitter and the way it sticks to absolutely everything.

“How the hell are you going to go as _glitter?_ _ **Of all things?”**_ You ask, genuinely interested.

“Well you see, y/n. I will drench myself in glitter, stuff some in my pockets, and throw it at absolutely every single person I see.”

You can practically hear his thoughts, knowing he's not going to back out of that idea even for a moment. Because number one, he knows he will look amazing. And number two, he will never give up the opportunity to piss everyone else off.

“Should've went with the golden girls.” Hongjoong says, slightly still bummed that not one single person wanted to be a pirate with him.

“What about you Y/n?” Seonghwa asks, leaning into you a little bit.

You think for a second on whether or not you should wear something sexy or save the sexy costumes for home. But you're also a college student, and it would be pretty fucking nice to see your boyfriend lusting for you all night in a house full of drunk and sweaty bodies dancing and –

“I'll figure it out.” You whisper to him, hoping no one else could see you winking at him.

Yunho saw it though.

“Remember when we went as a dead husband and wife together?” Yunho asks to you, as bright as ever.

You smile in return, it was a good memory. It was years and years ago. Before you ever met the other boys. And it was actually something you thought about from time to time because it was the first time Yunho ever looked at you in a way that made you feel incredibly small next to him.

“I remember you were helping me put the blood on my face, and I didn't close my eyes fast enough” _Because I was looking at him. So closely, feeling his soft breathing hit my cheeks._

“And you got some in your eye. Nearly blinding yourself.” Yunho laughs back, shoulders relaxed against the wall he was leaning on. “Your eye after that really completed the whole – yknow—dead wife costume though.”

You felt so normal. You loved it. “If only my husband hadn't of put that fake blood so close to my eye!” You laugh back, with perfect sarcasm.

Seonghwa nudged you, joining into the conversation. “I'm not really into couples costumes. But I bet y/n made a cute zombie wife! Wish I could have seen you.”

Yunho seized up at the comment, and even you felt it was slightly back handed. You can see Seonghwa looking at Yunho. Yunho looking directly back at him.

“So...anyway,” San spouts, oblivious to all of it. “Enough chit chat, we've got like...” He checks his phone for the date.”Shit. We have 2 days to find a costume.”

Hongjoong speaks up again. “Isn't there a temporary costume shop like. . A few blocks away from here?”

“Brilliant Joong! Let's go!” You shout, hopping up and grabbing him. Thinking it is the perfect opportunity to find a costume without both Yunho or Seonghwa breathing down your back.

Hongjoong squeaks audibly as you drag him to you room, leaving the rest of the men behind.

“You're going to help me pick something sexy.” You say, grabbing Seonghwa's hoodie from last night and throwing it on.

“Sexy?” Hongjoong beams.

“Look, I know technically you're dating Seonghwa but if you think I'm going to help you seduce him anymore than you already have you're wrong.”

You smile at him, sensing the sarcasm. You know Hongjoong genuinely feels something for Seonghwa. After all they worked together, walked home together, and have even had drunken nights together. But you truly don't think he would ever be disrespectful or try to involve himself in any way to break the two of you up. That's why you don't mind when he flirts with him, or when Seonghwa flirts back. We have a mutual understanding that we both absolutely love the same person, but the feelings are only returned to one of us. That doesn't mean we can't be friends. That doesn't mean Hongjoong can't be around.

“Hey, look in my closet for my jeans.” You say, nodding to the closet and swiftly taking off your sweats. You weren't self conscious. After all, San strolls around the whole apartment naked. We are comfortable with our bodies, nothing sexual until we make it such.

“You have like nine thousand pairs of jeans in here. Be specific you absolute--”

“The black ones with the nail polish stain on the left ass pocket.”

Hongjoong shoots a glare at you.

“I told you I didn't--.” He pauses. “ You had an entire couch to sit on, and for some reason YOU decided to sit directly on the floor where my freshly polished hand just happened to be!”

“Well excuse me for wanting to sit next to my very kind neighbor!” You shout back, laughing.

His eyes swell up when he smiles, handing you the exact pair of jeans you asked for.

“You should do a cliché sexy nurse.” Hongjoong says, thinking as you pull up your pants.

“Cliche? Aren't they all cliché?” You cock your head a little, looking at him. “I wanted to be something more cute _and_ sexy.”

Hongjoong is always so happy, so full of smiles. A part of you wonders if he's really lonely enough to be at your apartment nearly every day. Thinking he needs an excuse to be there in the form of giving us extra supplies he “found” or needing milk. If you're being honest, Seonghwa is practically sharing a room with you anyway. If he'd just ask you'd probably move him in within the day if it would keep him smiling like this.

You're pulled out of your thoughts by a soft knock on the door.

“Password?” Hongjoong says sternly, cracking the door and staring the man in the eye.

You notice that it's Yunho. He looks at you through the crack in the door but Hongjoong's foot is placed firmly in front of it.

You shrug. “What's the password then?” And Hongjoong smiles at you again for playing along.

“Open the door before I throw you out a window.” Yunho says sternly, staring down at Hongjoong. You can see him gulp at Yunho's words.

“O-Oh. What a lucky guess. Welcome to the club friend.” Hongjoong says, barely pausing. “ Where friendship is formed over sexy costume ideas!”

Yunho steps in the room ignoring Hongjoong, and walking over to the chair by your window. The place where he always sat to study when the two of you used to spend more one on one time together. You know, before Seonghwa moved into your room.

He goes to sit down, but notices a pile of Seonghwa's clothes there, so he instead just leans against the window.

“San and Seonghwa went to see Wooyoung. San said he needed emotional support.”

You laugh, knowing he has been lingering on the line of asking Wooyoung out.

“Wanna come with us to the costume shop?”

“Come with us! I can't do this alone!” Hongjoong practically shouts, jumping up and also grabbing one of Seonghwa's hoodies and putting it on himself.

“Joong, you're already wearing a hoodie.” You say, not even the slightest bit mad. He's actually kind of cute in your boyfriend's hoodie.

“And now I'm wearing two.”

Yunho smiles at the sight. He might be feeling absolutely defeated that you're fucking their roommate, and telling him that you _love him_. But sometimes he just wants to push past it and enjoy your company again. Even for a little bit. Seonghwa isn't here right now. It's much more bearable to be around you when your boyfriend isn't around.

~

After walking around for some time at the costume shop, Hongjoong picking out every single dumb costume he could find for you. You settle on a typical “Sexy Cat” costume.

“Cats can't be sexy.” Hongjoong whines, holding up three different costumes.

“Listen, Seonghwa would _love_ if you dressed as a sexy nurse. I'm telling you!”

You ignore him. Sexy cat is like, a top tier cliché halloween costume. Of course they can be sexy!

“What about a sexy steamy police officer?”

You scoff.

“Why don't you just go naked then?!” Hongjoong huffs in defeat, instantly getting a look from Yunho in return.

“Let y/n pick what she's wants. I'm sure she knows what he likes.” Yunho was very clearly uncomfortable, so you changed the subject.

“What about you Yunho? What are you going to dress up as?” Yunho perks up at your attention to him.

“All of these costumes are either stupid or way too sexual. . .”

Hongjoong slips away, grabbing a headband off a shelf.

You and Yunho are at a loss at what kind of costume he should do. Despite the conversations of not matching costumes with all the guys, you realize that for years the two of you. . . always had a costume that went hand in hand.

“Found one!” Hongjoong shouts, placing the headband on the taller man's head.

“O—oh” You slip up, knowing full well how ridiculous the three of you look. But also knowing damn well that seeing Yunho in floppy puppy dog ears is absolutely perfect.

“Please. Get the ears Yunho.”

Hongjoong interrupts you.

“So, On to more important matters-- me.” He says, showing you two different pirate costumes.

You barely notice Yunho going to the register and paying for the puppy ears.

~

The party is tomorrow.

Mingi decided to come stay with you all for the next two days. The party is in our city anyway. He fits in like a missing piece of the puzzle. Everything feels so right, sipping drinks while you're all piled up in the living room watching some shitty movie San picked out.

It was already late, close to eleven at night when San put the movie in. You and Seonghwa gave up your spots on the couch so Mingi and Hongjoong could sit comfortably. The two of you lying together in the floor, partially hidden by the coffee table littered with snacks and empty cups.

It wasn't long before Seonghwa was getting needy.

“Can't wait to see your costume tomorrow.” Seonghwa whispered, almost too quiet to hear over the loud television.

“Wanna guess what it is?” You whisper back, smiling next to him.

He rolls slightly over, facing you.

“Three guesses.” You whisper.

Seonghwa shakes his head. “ _Surprise me._ ”

“Shut the fuck up.” San says in a serious voice, tossing a pillow that hits Seonghwa so perfectly in the head that it's hard to stifle a laugh.

For a while you watched the movie, but now you could barely contain yourself. Your boyfriend was getting a bit handsy. Rubbing at your stomach, going a bit higher with each stroke. It had become hard to watch the movie because you were so focused on his fingertips.

He would stop before he actually touched anything though. You'd look at him, and see _that_ look in his eye. One pleading to leave the room now. You probably had that look in your eyes too, except for you no one else in the room really mattered. You knew how to be quiet.

“ _I'm going to wreck you._ ” Seonghwa whispered. Causing you to shiver a bit beside him. Immediately causing you to stand up.

The entire room looked at you, but only one pair of eyes had that _knowing_ look. Seonghwa.

“I'm really tired guys, ill see you in the morning.” You quickly shuffle to your room before anyone objects, and you hear Seonghwa quickly follow behind you.

“You hear that? She's “tired”.” San scoffed, knowing full well what you two were up to.

Seonghwa was quick on your heel, practically shoving you into your room and closing the door behind the both of you.

“What's gotten into you?” You muffle out before he is immediately attaching his lips to yours.

You hear him mutter “ _He was looking at you again_ ”. You can't ignore it, and you want to press further. But at the moment Seonghwa has his hands all over you, trying his best to get your shirt off of you without pulling his lips away again.

You help him lift your shirt up, quickly allowing him to attach his lips to yours again. It doesn't last long. He trails kisses down your jaw line and to your neck.

“You're heated this time, what happened to my sweet boyfriend?” You snicker, hoping he reads between the lines.

“Just can't stand other people looking at you. Now stop talking.” He burns the words into you as he gently pulls the back of your hair, and continues to kiss down your neck.

Other people? You hadn't noticed anyone looking, even with Seonghwa's roaming hands during the movie. Then again you weren't very aware of your surroundings in that moment.

“You're mine.” Seonghwa nearly growls, gently pulling your panties down your legs.

“I'm yours.”

That's all it took before he was pulling you. Allowing himself to fall back on the bed as you straddled him. He was already rock hard and had a sense of urgency like never before. And you sensed that whatever it is he wanted right now, he was going to get. You're happy that it's you he wants. Even if you don't completely understand what the fuck has gotten into him.

Seonghwa has always been a very gentle lover. From the first time you ever had sex, he practically worshiped your body, kissing every inch and making sure you _felt every inch_. Slow, but always with a passion so hot that it felt intense, burning, sometimes so overwhelming that you could cry. He wants to please. At least for you he does. But tonight. . .

He seems to _need_ you. He _needs_ to claim you in every possible way, and never let you out of his sight. His grip on your hips almost hurts, as he guides you onto him, instantly thrusting up into you as if it were on instinct.

“ _You're mine. Y/n. You hear me?_ ”

You hum in response to that. You felt as if you were being punished by this new possesive lover, but you didn't hate it. In fact it makes you want to be in trouble with him. The way he is touching you, fucking into you, so desperately holding you on top of him. You felt like the only person he could ever love so shamelessly.

He stares up at you, not even for a second closing his eyes or looking away. His grip harsh and his hips thrusting up to match yours. He is desperate. Shamelessly breathing out praises. How good you feel around him, how perfect you look on top of him. How this is where you belong. Only letting go of your hips to place his hands in your hair, pulling you down into a harsh kiss. Not allowing you to breathe even for a moment.

He was _needy_. He was _angry._

~

When You had gone to your room, with Seonghwa practically pouncing at the opportunity to be alone with you, Yunho watched. He watched both of you stumble so in love back to your room. His heart aching yet again, but he's gotten used to it. San wont switch rooms with him, because “No one wants to hear that shit.”

“Im gonna go to the bathroom. . .umm. . . .” Yunho practically squeaks.

It had only been a few minutes since you and Seonghwa left the living room. And he wanted to wait just long enough to not raise suspicion. Knowing what you're doing hurts him, but for some reason he finds himself chasing that feeling. Wishing it were him. Thinking he deserves to feel this pain for being so passive about how he felt.

Passing by your door, he heard some shuffling. Nothing else. So he stood for a moment, wondering if you two really were going to bed. But then he hears the voice of Seonghwa. This voice of his isn't as familiar, as it was far more raspy, far more low. Almost haunting as he heard your name come out of his mouth.

“ _You're mine. You hear me?”_

Yunho feels a shock in his heart when he heard you through the door, moaning in response to what Seonghwa was saying. What he was doing to you. Doing _for_ you. He realized how much you must truly enjoy him being inside of you, and a spike of anger comes with the sadness that he chased after.

It's not that he didn't like Seonghwa, they always got along but they weren't like. . . _best friends_. The issue is, Seonghwa has confronted Yunho already. He caught on very quickly. Telling him to stay away from you if he knew what was good for him. That he had his chance, and that he knew you guys were best friends but he is _not_ to be anything more. Ever. Since that talk, it's almost like he is being teased. Seonghwa will purposely do things to bother him.

He keeps his distance now. He'll just lay in his bed alone. Hands snaking down each time he hears you moan out a name that isn't his. Muffled by the thin insulation in the wall, but clear enough to send shivers throughout his entire body. And tonight will be just like any other night.

“ _Fuck_.” He whispers to himself, leaning against the wall opposite of your door. He hasn't been standing there for long but he feels ridiculous that he purposely came just to confirm that you were fucking Seonghwa. And not him.

He feels the familiar tingle in his abdomen, knowing full well that he knew this would happen.

~ Ｈ Ａ Ｌ Ｌ Ｏ Ｗ Ｅ Ｅ Ｎ ~

You both got exactly three hours of sleep before you heard a loud bang against your door, jolting you both awake at the sound of a high pitched voice. “Wake up bitches, it's pirate time.

Sleeping last night didn't seem to be in anyone's schedule. Yunho exhausted himself palming through his pants and fighting not to make any noise of his own while hearing you just a room over.

You and Seonghwa went for what felt like forever, to the point of waking up with your thighs sore. He smoothed over them with his hands the moment he recognized a wince in your facial expression.

“I'm sorry, you were spread out for so long last night.”

He tried to sound sorry. He really did. But he wasn't. He loved seeing you like that, and he loved the fact that no one else will ever get to see or touch you the way he does. You're his.

That was fully established last night, and now everyone will know. With the marks on your collar bone, thighs, he even went as far to leave a little mark on your wrist. Every part of you belongs to him. It did from the moment you agreed to be his girlfriend. But you realize something in him must feel threatened. You go along with it. Because while he always seemed slightly possessive, last night really peaked for him you think. Whatever is bothering him, you kind of hope it continues to.

You've always yearned to feel this wanted by someone. And the fact that he was so absolutely beautiful. Smooth skin, a dark mess of hair sitting atop such a clear and bright face. He knew how to be adorable, but he also knew how to make you forget that when he wants to, he can absolutely dominate you. His soft morning demeanor is no where in sight when the sun sets and his hands are on you.

But right now, you can't tell which persona he's got on. He's got a dark look in his eye, but he looks as bright and happy as ever. Hair messed up from the night before, soft sheen on his cheeks from the deep sleep he was just in.

“Can't wait to see your costume~” He almost sings to you, turning you into mush. Sinking back into the blankets with him, you'd almost forgotten that Hongjoong was running through the hallway banging on every single door to wake everyone up.

“Can someone shut him up?” You whimper

“He loves us. Let him do his thing.”

He said it so smoothly and surely, and he was right. Hongjoong is definitely something else. A kind soul above all, but damn did he know how to annoy someone.

_BANG BANG BANG._

A deeper voice follows the banging on the door this time. The voice sounded. . . taller.

“Hey, he said it's pirate time. Get the fuck up.” Mingi stifles laughter, and you know full well that Hongjoong is cheering the taller man on.

You sigh and smile.

“We can sleep when we're dead!” You shout, climbing out of bed and away from Seonghwa, who lets out a sound of annoyance.

“Your thighs still need my hands though.”

“You'll just get a show of me wobbling around in the costume I got for us~” You joked back, meaning what you said. You got this costume specifically to show off what you liked most about yourself. Or rather, what Seonghwa liked most about you. You can't really see the appeal aside from knowing he will be in shambles all night, watching you prance around with your little cat ears.

Slipping on a tshirt, not bothering with the panties or pants yet. You open the door. Mingi and Hongjoong haven't moved an inch since they last knocked. And both are posing embarrassingly stupid like pirates.

“Y/n!” Hongjoong chimes brightly, not moving an inch from his perfected pose.

“You look like shit!” He says equally as bright. And just as you're about to say something back he interrupts you. “Mingi said he would dress as a pirate with me, and you're coming with us to pick out the costume!”  
“Are you asking me or telling me?”

“Telling you.” Mingi says, grabbing you by the arm and practically dragging you out of the room.

Seonghwa instantly jumps up, grabbing your other arm and staring at Mingi.

“She doesn't have panties on, so... let go.”

And just as he said that, Yunho walks by with his toothbrush in his mouth. His ears instantly turning red. Mingi's cheeks turning the same color to match.

You're not entirely sure why Seonghwa said that so bluntly, embarrassing you almost instantly. He could have just said “ _let her get dressed first”._ But no, he decided to just flat out tell them that you're completely bare under this over sized t-shirt. Ridiculous. You're turning red as well, turning to look at Seonghwa with a harsh and confused look in your eye.

“Y—yeah. Um get dressed, we've only got a few hours before we've all got to meet back here for pre-game.” Mingi says numbly, turning on his heel and dragging Hongjoong by his collar into the kitchen.

Yunho was out of sight the instant he heard what your boyfriend said. Practically choking on his toothbrush, he ran directly to the kitchen sink to rinse out his mouth. Face as red as the blood likely flowing to his dick if he had seen you the way Seonghwa has.

“Hey uh, is he always like that?” Mingi says turning the corner and coming face to face with Yunho.

“Yeah, we are pretty shameless here.”

“He wasn't like this before.Whatever.”

Hongjoong is just kind of standing there. He doesn't really care about what happened. But clearly Mingi and Yunho can't handle a pussy if it slapped them in the mouth.

“Children.” Hongjoong scoffs, tapping his foot on the floor already decked out in his fresh pirate attire.

Yunho doesn't say much, just tries to calm himself down by opening the fridge and staring at the expired yogurt that San bought 8 weeks ago. Wondering himself if he should draw a nose and whiskers on to complete his look with the puppy ears. Yeah, he thinks he will. He thinks you'd like that.

~

Mingi and Hongjoong are having the time of their lives on the walk over to the costume shop. You can't help but laugh at how incredibly small Hongjoong looks next to him. You don't say anything though. You don't even mention how they're at least 10 feet in front of you, and you're just kind of wobbling and trying to keep up.

“Hey Mingi, did you notice?” Hongjoong asks, pointing back at you.

“He really gave it to her last night didn't he?”

“No shit, I nearly crawled into San's bed crying, they were so loud. ”

Mingi kind of tilts his head. “Huh, I figured you would've liked hearing Seonghwa or something?”

Hongjoong gasps in offense.

“Ok number one, I have self control.” Hongjoong straightens out his perfect pirate collar. “Number two, hearing “HNNG HNG” HUH HUH” all night is not hot.”

Mingi bursts out at the sight of Hongjoong mimicking you and Seonghwa in bed. Looking back at you struggling to not only keep up, but to hide the marks that Seonghwa left on you last night.

“We should slow down, she's about to pass out.” Mingi comments, but Hongjoong shrugs with a snide “Not my fault she can't handle the girth.”

You heard him say that, because even with all of the shit talking, they really did slow down and wait for you.

“Kim Hongjoong, You're never invited to my apartment again.”

~

Searching for a costume was easy. Everything was on sale since it's already Halloween and they're trying to get rid of all of their costumes and props. Hongjoong was very little help as usual. Picking up every single item and inspecting it. Rating it one out of ten and then putting it back regardless of if it was a ten or not.

Mingi's costume looked pretty dapper though. A nice cravat on his blouse, really complimenting his jawline. The red hues in the costume as a whole brought out the red in his hair, and it honestly didn't even look that cheap.

Hongjoong stared at him in awe.

“How the fuck do you get to look better than me? It was my idea to be pirates!”

“You look good too though!” Mingi said, causing Hongjoong to quiet down, maybe even blush a little.

You realized, Mingi and Hongjoong just met the night before. Mingi had been a long time mutual friend that all four of you and your roommates shared, but Hongjoong was a recent addition. Only moving in after meeting Seonghwa at their work place. Hongjoong had been looking to get out of his parent's house and there happen to be an empty studio apartment right down the hall from our 4 bedroom apartment.

They _just_ met. And they're getting along as if they've never been strangers. Last night it was Hongjoong and Mingi sleeping in the living room, and you wonder how long they stayed awake together bonding. Because this morning you hadn't even realized anything was off. They were acting like best friends, they even planned a matching costume together.

“Mingi, did you not already have a costume planned when you came over yesterday?”

“Yeah, but Joongie seemed really sad that no one wanted to join his crew. So I did him a favor.” He said, shrugging and pinching Hongjoong's cheek. “Like a real friend.” Hongjoong added.

“I'm sorry-- did you just call him _Joongie_?!”

“Sure did.” Mingi says shortly, adjusting his pirate vest and looking at Hongjoong for the final approval rating.  
“Nine out of ten.” Hongjoong says sternly, looking Mingi up and down.

“Can't be two pirates with a ten rating, I get ya.”

“You are both insufferable. Take Hongjoong home with you when you leave, Mingi.”

“Maybe I will.” He says back with out any hesitation. Hongjoong simply smiles.

You're just happy to see them get along so well. Especially happy to see Hongjoong be hit on, even if he doesn't realize it.

~


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Haven't proof read! Pls be gentle!

~ Ｈ Ａ Ｌ Ｌ Ｏ Ｗ Ｅ Ｅ Ｎ ~

You both got exactly three hours of sleep before you heard a loud bang against your door, jolting you both awake at the sound of a high pitched voice. “Wake up bitches, it's pirate time.

Sleeping last night didn't seem to be in anyone's schedule. Yunho exhausted himself palming through his pants and fighting not to make any noise of his own while hearing you just a room over.

You and Seonghwa went for what felt like forever, to the point of waking up with your thighs sore. He smoothed over them with his hands the moment he recognized a wince in your facial expression.

“I'm sorry, you were spread out for so long last night.”

He tried to sound sorry. He really did. But he wasn't. He loved seeing you like that, and he loved the fact that no one else will ever get to see or touch you the way he does. You're his.

That was fully established last night, and now everyone will know. With the marks on your collar bone, thighs, he even went as far to leave a little mark on your wrist. Every part of you belongs to him. It did from the moment you agreed to be his girlfriend. But you realize something in him must feel threatened. You go along with it. Because while he always seemed slightly possessive, last night really peaked for him you think. Whatever is bothering him, you kind of hope it continues to.

You've always yearned to feel this wanted by someone. And the fact that he was so absolutely beautiful. Smooth skin, a dark mess of hair sitting atop such a clear and bright face. He knew how to be adorable, but he also knew how to make you forget that when he wants to, he can absolutely dominate you. His soft morning demeanor is no where in sight when the sun sets and his hands are on you.

But right now, you can't tell which persona he's got on. He's got a dark look in his eye, but he looks as bright and happy as ever. Hair messed up from the night before, soft sheen on his cheeks from the deep sleep he was just in.

“Can't wait to see your costume~” He almost sings to you, turning you into mush. Sinking back into the blankets with him, you'd almost forgotten that Hongjoong was running through the hallway banging on every single door to wake everyone up.

“Can someone shut him up?” You whimper

“He loves us. Let him do his thing.”

He said it so smoothly and surely, and he was right. Hongjoong is definitely something else. A kind soul above all, but damn did he know how to annoy someone.

_BANG BANG BANG._

A deeper voice follows the banging on the door this time. The voice sounded. . . taller.

“Hey, he said it's pirate time. Get the fuck up.” Mingi stifles laughter, and you know full well that Hongjoong is cheering the taller man on.

You sigh and smile.

“We can sleep when we're dead!” You shout, climbing out of bed and away from Seonghwa, who lets out a sound of annoyance.

“Your thighs still need my hands though.”

“You'll just get a show of me wobbling around in the costume I got for us~” You joked back, meaning what you said. You got this costume specifically to show off what you liked most about yourself. Or rather, what Seonghwa liked most about you. You can't really see the appeal aside from knowing he will be in shambles all night, watching you prance around with your little cat ears.

Slipping on a tshirt, not bothering with the panties or pants yet. You open the door. Mingi and Hongjoong haven't moved an inch since they last knocked. And both are posing embarrassingly stupid like pirates.

“Y/n!” Hongjoong chimes brightly, not moving an inch from his perfected pose.

“You look like shit!” He says equally as bright. And just as you're about to say something back he interrupts you. “Mingi said he would dress as a pirate with me, and you're coming with us to pick out the costume!”  
“Are you asking me or telling me?”

“Telling you.” Mingi says, grabbing you by the arm and practically dragging you out of the room.

Seonghwa instantly jumps up, grabbing your other arm and staring at Mingi.

“She doesn't have panties on, so... let go.”

And just as he said that, Yunho walks by with his toothbrush in his mouth. His ears instantly turning red. Mingi's cheeks turning the same color to match.

You're not entirely sure why Seonghwa said that so bluntly, embarrassing you almost instantly. He could have just said “ _let her get dressed first”._ But no, he decided to just flat out tell them that you're completely bare under this over sized t-shirt. Ridiculous. You're turning red as well, turning to look at Seonghwa with a harsh and confused look in your eye.

“Y—yeah. Um get dressed, we've only got a few hours before we've all got to meet back here for pre-game.” Mingi says numbly, turning on his heel and dragging Hongjoong by his collar into the kitchen.

Yunho was out of sight the instant he heard what your boyfriend said. Practically choking on his toothbrush, he ran directly to the kitchen sink to rinse out his mouth. Face as red as the blood likely flowing to his dick if he had seen you the way Seonghwa has.

“Hey uh, is he always like that?” Mingi says turning the corner and coming face to face with Yunho.

“Yeah, we are pretty shameless here.”

“He wasn't like this before.Whatever.”

Hongjoong is just kind of standing there. He doesn't really care about what happened. But clearly Mingi and Yunho can't handle a pussy if it slapped them in the mouth.

“Children.” Hongjoong scoffs, tapping his foot on the floor already decked out in his fresh pirate attire.

Yunho doesn't say much, just tries to calm himself down by opening the fridge and staring at the expired yogurt that San bought 8 weeks ago. Wondering himself if he should draw a nose and whiskers on to complete his look with the puppy ears. Yeah, he thinks he will. He thinks you'd like that.

~

Mingi and Hongjoong are having the time of their lives on the walk over to the costume shop. You can't help but laugh at how incredibly small Hongjoong looks next to him. You don't say anything though. You don't even mention how they're at least 10 feet in front of you, and you're just kind of wobbling and trying to keep up.

“Hey Mingi, did you notice?” Hongjoong asks, pointing back at you.

“He really gave it to her last night didn't he?”

“No shit, I nearly crawled into San's bed crying, they were so loud. ”

Mingi kind of tilts his head. “Huh, I figured you would've liked hearing Seonghwa or something?”

Hongjoong gasps in offense.

“Ok number one, I have self control.” Hongjoong straightens out his perfect pirate collar. “Number two, hearing “HNNG HNG” HUH HUH” all night is not hot.”

Mingi bursts out at the sight of Hongjoong mimicking you and Seonghwa in bed. Looking back at you struggling to not only keep up, but to hide the marks that Seonghwa left on you last night.

“We should slow down, she's about to pass out.” Mingi comments, but Hongjoong shrugs with a snide “Not my fault she can't handle the girth.”

You heard him say that, because even with all of the shit talking, they really did slow down and wait for you.

“Kim Hongjoong, You're never invited to my apartment again.”

~

Searching for a costume was easy. Everything was on sale since it's already Halloween and they're trying to get rid of all of their costumes and props. Hongjoong was very little help as usual. Picking up every single item and inspecting it. Rating it one out of ten and then putting it back regardless of if it was a ten or not.

Mingi's costume looked pretty dapper though. A nice cravat on his blouse, really complimenting his jawline. The red hues in the costume as a whole brought out the red in his hair, and it honestly didn't even look that cheap.

Hongjoong stared at him in awe.

“How the fuck do you get to look better than me? It was my idea to be pirates!”

“You look good too though!” Mingi said, causing Hongjoong to quiet down, maybe even blush a little.

You realized, Mingi and Hongjoong just met the night before. Mingi had been a long time mutual friend that all four of you and your roommates shared, but Hongjoong was a recent addition. Only moving in after meeting Seonghwa at their work place. Hongjoong had been looking to get out of his parent's house and there happen to be an empty studio apartment right down the hall from our 4 bedroom apartment.

They _just_ met. And they're getting along as if they've never been strangers. Last night it was Hongjoong and Mingi sleeping in the living room, and you wonder how long they stayed awake together bonding. Because this morning you hadn't even realized anything was off. They were acting like best friends, they even planned a matching costume together.

“Mingi, did you not already have a costume planned when you came over yesterday?”

“Yeah, but Joongie seemed really sad that no one wanted to join his crew. So I did him a favor.” He said, shrugging and pinching Hongjoong's cheek. “Like a real friend.” Hongjoong added.

“I'm sorry-- did you just call him _Joongie_?!”

“Sure did.” Mingi says shortly, adjusting his pirate vest and looking at Hongjoong for the final approval rating.  
“Nine out of ten.” Hongjoong says sternly, looking Mingi up and down.

“Can't be two pirates with a ten rating, I get ya.”

“You are both insufferable. Take Hongjoong home with you when you leave, Mingi.”

“Maybe I will.” He says back with out any hesitation. Hongjoong simply smiles.

You're just happy to see them get along so well. Especially happy to see Hongjoong be hit on, even if he doesn't realize it.

~

You can hear the drumming on the table in the kitchen as you, Mingi, and Hongjoong put the finishing touches on your sexy cat costume. Hongjoong had _insisted_ drawing a small heart on both of your cheeks in the brightest red he could find. And he looked very concentrated drawing them on your face, smiling big once he finished and planting a fat smooch to your nose.

“Look at what I created Mingi! Isn't she just lovely?” He asks, wanting recognition for his hard work in drawing those hearts.

“You did a great job, Joong. But can you help me tuck my shirt in now?” Mingi asks, huffing at the fact this his pants were so tight, he couldn't comfortably tuck his fancy white shirt in.

You watch as Hongjoong shoves his tiny hands down the back of Mingi's pants, perfectly fixing his shirt for him. You and Mingi make eye contact, and you raise a brow.

He smiles at you, nodding his head, giving you a thumbs up as if he answered the silent question you had for him. You then watch as he pulls his hands back out of Mingi's pants and slaps him right on the ass.

“You guys should pay me to do this! You both look great, and it's all thanks to me!” Hongjoong says with a clap. You both simply agree before he is rushing you both out of your room.

“C'mon, they've been drum rolling for like an hour!”

It's almost funny the way San dramatically stands up with a slow clap as the three of you slow walk down the hall and into the kitchen. But it's not. The funny part is the fact that he is absolutely drenched in glitter, looking as celestial as ever. Knowing that every single person he comes in contact with tonight will be rained upon. Everyone and everything he touches will become beautiful. You're excited for glitter for the first time in your life. And then your eyes trail to your boyfriend.

Seonghwa instantly shifts in his seat at the table, looking you up and down with a smile. You spin around gently with the help of Hongjoong. He's presenting you to Seonghwa as if you're a new car and you feel thankful.

“My turn!” Hongjoong says, pushing you out of the way and spinning himself around. Instantly everyone claps for him, even you as you walk over to Seonghwa and plop down in his lap.

“You look _hot_.” Seonghwa states, wrapping his arms around your waist and still trying to get a good look at you. You chuckle a bit in response, cocking your head to the side so he can kiss you.

Seonghwa looked hot too. All of these costumes are cliché except for San's. But _goddamn_ does Seonghwa make a great vampire. Dressed up flamboyantly and absolutely beautifully. He looks stunning, and you feel incredibly lucky to have him looking at you this way. In your cheap sexy cat costume.

He grabs the tail that's tucked into your skirt, and slaps you with it. And you're both just in your own world sitting at the kitchen table. Not even once noticing Yunho directly across from you both, with his floppy ears and painted nose.

~

Yunho slaps his own face, already feeling a little buzzed before all of you head out for the party. He hasn't even had anything to drink. You on the other hand have already downed four beers on an empty stomach. Seonghwa has got everyone beat though, on his sixth drink and already clinging to you as if the world were about to end. Yunho hated seeing it.

He partly wonders if he will ever be able to compete with Seonghwa. He thinks the battle is already over, he didn't even get to fight. He wasn't willing to fight when he had the chance and now you're across the room from him every day pouring love into someone who he doesn't think deserves it. He was the one there for you when your pets died, when your mom got sick, when you needed motivation to study or even get out of bed in the morning.

He was the one who suggested you become his roommate straight into college, knowing well that you and San would get along perfectly. Plus splitting the rent would make it easier for the three of you to have financial freedom.

And even when Seonghwa moved two years after the three of you had called the apartment home, things went really well. San had found his ad on craigslist, he was looking to get out of his current apartment due to issues with his roommate or something. We didn't press the issue and welcomed him with open arms. But instantly he took a shining to you specifically. Not quite excluding Yunho, but not exactly inviting him in either.

Yunho looked past all of that, He was happy the four of you still managed to have a good time together, even if Seonghwa seemed to glue himself to your side. Yunho never once believed Seonghwa would move in on you so quickly. He had been best friends with you for _years_. No way could this guy come in and swoop you up like that.

Seonghwa always stayed close to you, slowly making Yunho feel replaced. But he still tried to be close to you. Still tried to keep his one on one time with you. The night Seonghwa had asked you to be his, right there in the living room. Things drastically changed between You and Yunho. No more study sessions. No more funny texts messages with Yunho asking you to come to his room at two in the morning just so he can ask you to grab the remote from his table. No more gentle touches, showing the other how much they genuinely care. It all drifted away, and he missed it terribly.

But Seonghwa is taking up your mind and soul now. You tend to push back the idea of you and Yunho continuing on like normal, even if it's something you want. Something you even day dream about sometimes. He's not himself anymore. He doesn't act like your best friend anymore. And Seonghwa has stayed the same, except now far more passionate about you than before.

You wonder if Yunho just doesn't want to be around you anymore. After all, you did try for a long time to keep things the way they had always been, only to be pushed away.

_Yunho wonders if Seonghwa will ever just fuck off._

~

Seonghwa was already throbbing in his pants. Finishing off his drink with puffy red lips. He looked at you with hunger and you weren't even at the party yet. Everyone was finishing off their pre-game drinks and getting ready to head out. Yunho was the only sober one, clearly the DD.

You're putting the unopened drinks in the refrigerator when your boyfriend comes up behind you and puts his hands around your waist.

“We should skip the party.” Seonghwa suggests into your ear, pressing his lower half into you.

You smile, but shake your head. You planned for Seonghwa to be hungry for you all night. And he's already _starving_.

“Be patient~”

Seonghwa digs his face into the crook of your neck and sighs out, you can feel his eyebrows furrow as he presses into you last time chasing _any_ amount of friction.

“You're a tease, y/n.”

You very easily turn around to face him, kiss him one good time and look at him. “Let's have a good time. Slow down on the drinking yeah? I've only had four drinks and i'm already past tipsy.” Seonghwa only nods his head, looking at you with a piercing gaze that is only intimidating due to the costume makeup and smeared blood around his lips. You really adore this man.

~

“Joong, why again do you have a van?” San asks, getting into the passenger side. Everyone slowly piling in after him. Yunho waiting patiently in the divers seat for everyone to buckle up. Mingi and Hongjoong are sitting awfully close in the very back of the van when the smaller man shouts up at San. “It was a great deal! Cheapest car on the lot! Sometimes it wont start though!” He says in his tipsy bliss, giggling along side Mingi.

You decide that sitting with Hongjoong and Mingi would be an absolute blast, and you're heading to the back of the van, but Seonghwa pulls you back by the tail and sits you down directly behind Yunho. He sits next to you, giving the two men in the front a clear view of him, while you remain partially hidden to only Yunho.

“Keeping you to myself tonight~” Seonghwa sing songs to you, instantly placing his hand on your exposed thigh and glossing over the marks he left on you the night before. Happy that they weren't covered with make up.

“Are you trying to destroy me? Looking like that?” He whispers to you this time, gentle face becoming stern.

You could cry from all of the attention he is giving to you, and you hope it never stops.

“Stop trying to fuck in my van!” Hongjoong shouts, kicking the chair Seonghwa was sitting in. He returns the favor by not even looking back, and swiping his entire arm behind him and slapping both Hongjoong and Mingi directly across the face. It wasn't malicious though, it was mostly banter and you all knew that. Mingi and Hongjoong dramatically act as if they're crying, and Seonghwa continues to ignore them.

“Jesus Christ Hwa.” San slips up, looking directly at the two of you in the seat. Seonghwa is practically on top of you, not looking at _anything_ other than you. And you feel like you're not allowed to look at anything other than _him_ in return.

Yunho is feeling uncomfortable because your boyfriend is making everyone look at the two of you. He's being so shamefully desperate for you in a van full of them. He doesn't like it. He doesn't like that your so called boyfriend is acting like a starving dog for you. Even though he gets to have you any time he wants. He _hates_ this. Yunho gets a glimpse of himself in the rear view mirror, wanting to cry at the fact that he feels so incredibly stupid wearing these floppy dog ears, but feeling such a burning hatred for someone only a foot and a half away from him.

The ride felt long, but it really only lasted all of ten minutes. All of you pouring out of the vehicle at once. Looking your best in your tipsy state.

San meets up with Wooyoung right outside of the front door throwing a large fist full of glitter directly into his painted face. “Woowoo! I've missed you!” San shrieked, throwing himself at him.

Wooyoung looks to the young man next to him, pleading for him to help.

“Hey uh, this is my house. I'm Yeosang. Beer is in the garage, music in the back yard, all of the bedrooms are locked so no one is getting laid.” He sighs, and you can tell he has said this at least six hundred times tonight to each stranger that made their way in. “Thanks for coming though, Mingi said you guys were cool.”

Hongjoong walks up to the smaller man who just introduced himself. “Oh you know Mingi?”

“Yeah, I kind of invited him to come tonight.”

His eyes light up, instantly leaving Mingi behind and grabbing Yeosang by the arm. Straight to the garage to get more beer.

“Sick pirate outfit by the way.” Yeosang says smoothly, ignoring the fact that a complete stranger just grabbed him like a brother.

“Yeah I know, anyway. Does Mingi like dudes?” Hongjoong asked out right. Not even hesitating. Because if the dude doesn't know, he doesn't know. And if he does, at least now he doesn't have to ask Mingi himself.

“Uhh...with all things considered, I think you should be asking him that. Why? You like him?”

Hongjoong pauses for a moment, he's only known him for like two days.

“I tend to like everyone I guess.”

Hongjoong does seem to attach himself to the slightest amount of affection. He attached himself to Seonghwa because they work part time together and live right next door. Seonghwa is beautiful, open, and always returns the kindness. He mistakes his yearning for acceptance and friendship for love. He really does.

“Why'd you leave?” A low voice calls through the garage door, directing it at Hongjoong.

“Oh! I just wanted him to show me where the garage was!” The smaller man quickly lies back.

Yeosang furrows a brow at Mingi and opens his mouth to say something.

“You guys should talk.” He puts it simply, walking past Mingi and patting him on the shoulder. Leaving Hongjoong standing there with a beer and a numb look on his face.

~

Seonghwa had already brought you out to the back yard, sighing at the shitty choice in music but feeling the beat anyway. Despite the beer being in the garage, Yeosang was walking around handing more out to the guests at his party. So both of you stood together, swaying as you drank. Seonghwa barely moving his hips until – The music changes and _finally,_ something with rythmn.

Time was flying by so fast, and one minute you and your boyfriend were dancing together in the back yard, and now he is nowhere to be seen. You scan the crowd of people and spot San across the grass standing and talking with Wooyoung. You should out to him but he can't hear you.

Nothing unsafe or anything, you feel good, and you feel confident that your boyfriend will come back at some point. But you're not just going to stand in this one spot until he does. So you make your way inside for the first time since you arrive. Only to find another room where music was playing. It was crowded, and dim, and everyone was really just feeling the vibes so you decided to join in. You're sure Seonghwa will find you again.

You close your eyes when you dance, feeling every beat running through your veins. Basking in the moment and feeling absolutely free. Drunk, happy, and in love. Even if Seonghwa isn't dancing in front of you, you're still enjoying yourself. He probably went to hang out with Mingi or something.

You open your eyes for a split second and somehow your gaze lands on Yunho, who is standing in the corner with an obvious cup of water. Looking directly at you over the rim of the cup. Your smile beams back at him as you beckon him to dance with you. You're best friends, you've dance together too many times to count. You want to share this happiness with someone.

Yunho shakes his head and smiles, legs shifting uncomfortably before you stop dancing and produce a heavy and sad looking pout on your face. The music is too loud so you decide to show him with your body language that he'd _better_ get over here for old time's sake. You're drunk, you're not going to let things be awkward tonight! You stomp your foot, pouting again and in an instant he's standing in front of you. Smiling down at you.

He smiles more when you place your drink up to his lips, because sharing is caring. He takes a thoughtful sip. Knowing he is driving everyone home tonight, it's a quick sip and he nods his head to thank you. And in an instant nothing feels weird. It feels like it always has between the two of you. He doesn't even falter when he puts his hands on your waist as the two of you dance together.

Closer and closer you end up to him, until your arms are wrapped around his neck, and you're practically straddling his thigh. You barely notice the position the both of you are in. You're just dancing, and having a good time. You're not getting off, you're not hot for him or yearning for his hands under your skirt or anything after all. But then you feel it.

You open your eyes to see his red cheeks and glossy eyes looking right back at you. He could easily be mistaken as another drunk body in the crowd, but it's Yunho. And he's sober, sweating, and sighing so incredibly close to you that you almost lean in to him. You can feel him against you. He's hard. But you don't mention it to him, because it probably wasn't his fault. He's a guy surrounded by women who are barely wearing _anything_. It's definitely not because of you.

The dancing continues throughout several songs, as you continue to drink and feel yourself spinning more and more out of control with Yunho's arms locked around you. You feel like you have your best friend back. That is until you feel someone tear him away from you.

“What the _fuck_ are you doing?” Seonghwa says breaking you out of your floating state of mind, not five inches from Yunho's face. You want to intervene immediately, and you do.

“We were just dancing! I asked him to!” You shout in his defense, never having seen Seonghwa act this way towards anyone before.

“She wanted to dance with me.” Yunho responds himself, and you can also hear the smirk that was on his face when he said it.

If it weren't for Hongjoong and Mingi shoving through the crowd and getting between them, you're not sure which one would have swung first. But you make eye contact with Seonghwa as he's being led out by Mingi and he looks _betrayed._

_~_

Seonghwa had went to the restroom when he left you outside. Getting side tracked by hearing shouting on his way back out.

“ _Chug! Chug! Chug!”_

He watched as a smaller looking man drank twice his weight in alcohol in the span of sixty seconds. Quickly joining in with the chants of his name,

“ _Jongho! Jongho! Jongho!”_

By the time he got back outside, you were no where to be found. He went over to San who was practically attached to Wooyoung at the hip, trying to figure out where you'd gone. With a shrug San told him he hadn't seen you for like twenty minutes, and then went back to what he was doing before he was so rudely interrupted by your boyfriend.

Seonghwa was calm, just wanting you back by his side so he could touch you, and feel you, and kiss you. He scans the crowd outside one last time before stepping inside again. He follows the music, knowing you're somewhere around here. Probably looking for him too. But you weren't.

He found you and Yunho, practically on top of eachother. Dancing as if no one else was around. Instant anger hits him, his heart drops, and he stands in shock for a moment. He doesn't even realize Hongjoong had seen him, and was about to happily run over to him until he noticed that something was wrong. Hongjoong's eyes followed the line of sight your boyfriend was dead set on and instantly he was nudging for Mingi to pay attention. Shit was about to go down.

“Oh shit.” Mingi sighs, fixing his slouched pirate posture against the wall. Preparing himself to clean up whatever mess is about to happen.

Before Hongjoong and Mingi could even stand up straight, they saw Seonghwa rushing over to the two of you dancing in pure bliss. Alone in your own world together. He grabbed Yunho hard by his collar, so hard that his puppy ears flew right off and into the floor when he yanked him back. Shouting directly into his face as a warning.

He had _told_ Yunho that it was over between the two of you. That you're with him now, and he had a line that was _not_ to be crossed. Yet he finds the both of you running straight past that line _together._ He feels betrayed, he feels angry, he feels _hurt._ And part of him wonders if the two of you purposely chose to be a cat and a dog for Halloween. Practically matching. Have you two been flirting behind his back? Touching each other behind his back? What the fuck was happening right now. He _told_ Yunho to back off. But who can stay off when you're _inviting_ them onto you?

You've betrayed your boyfriend unknowingly by dressing as a cat. You betrayed him by dancing with your best friend. And you betrayed him by leaning into the warmth Yunho had circled around you. Making you feel so incredibly small in such a big room.

If it werent for Mingi pulling him away from Yunho, Seonghwa thinks he would have hit him. He wouldn't have been able to hold it in. He was being disrespected in a way that will definitely ruin any type of friendship the three of you could have had together.

And you're still oblivious to the fact that Yunho seemed proud of himself.

~

Hongjoong begged Seonghwa to just come home with him and cool down. No sexual intentions in mind knowing that he has been trying to get with Seonghwa for ages now. He just wanted him to calm down before things got worse. And even in Seonghwa's drunken rage, he agrees. All three of them are drunk. Mingi was going to go with them, no way was he going to leave a small pirate alone with a raged out vampire.

“I'll call an uber.” He says quickly, pulling out his phone.

By the time they left, San was absolutely oblivious. Finding you just to tell you that he's going home with Wooyoung tonight, and to _wish him luck_. And now it's just you and Yunho at this party where you've become the center of attention. All of the alcohol in the past few hours welling up inside of you with the emotion of possibly losing your boyfriend. You feel sick, and you start to cry.

Yunho jumps into action, never once leaving your side or caring about what happened. Something has gotten into him. He just-- shifted his whole demeanor towards Seonghwa. And towards you. You still feel safe as he walks you out to the van. Shushing you each time you try to apologize to him.

“I'm –sorry.” You whined out, trying so hard not to vomit right there.

“Don't be sorry. I shouldn't have danced with you like that.” Yunho says back softly, helping you get into the van and buckling you in.

When the door shuts your ears begin to ring by the sudden silence. You feel so alone in those few seconds.

“You're allowed to dance with me. We've done it plenty of times before I got with him.” You say to him the moment he opens the door.

“Yeah, we have. But things are different now.”

“Different _how?!”_ You feel angry now. “You're the only one who was acting different!”

Yunho sighs in response. So much has already happened and he doesn't really have much to lose at this point.

“Seonghwa pulled me aside one day, and told me to stay away from you.”

“Why would he do that?! He never had any problems before we started dating!” You're confused, and hurt, and above all you feel guilty over something you didn't even intend to do.

“Look. Y/n. He found out somehow that I was into you.”

You say nothing, the shock hitting your heart in an instant. As if all of those years where you patiently waited, and wondered if there was anything between the two of you comes back smacking you in the face. And you'd think you were crazy, but all of those feelings for Yunho came right back with it.Leaving you defeated. Confused. Not sure what you want.

“Excuse me? You're telling me this now?!”

Yunho is backing the van out, and looks at you with a sad face.

“Everyone else managed to figure it out but you.”

“I waited! I wondered! And I gave up on you Yunho!” You're practically shouting at him, tears still coming out in droves.

“You were my best friend! I didn't want to risk what we had over a few selfish feelings!” Yunho breathes out in a whisper shout. He stops for a moment. “Do you have any idea how hard it is to see you with him?”

Yunho has given up on keeping anything secret now. Adrenaline is running through his veins as you stare back at him with a fire in your eye.

“Do you understand that half of the things Seonghwa does is just to get a reaction out of me?”

“But-”

“Can you even fathom how defeated I felt knowing what he gets to do to you night after night? Do you realize that I can hear every single thing through those walls? Surely you knew. I know he did.”

Yunho is spitting fire at you so shamelessly you feel your entire heart being ripped in half. You can't get a single word in. And you're not sure if you should, because this whole time Yunho has pent up all of these feelings. And he's finally telling you.

“Y/n. Surely you can't be this dense. Seonghwa may be your boyfriend but it does not mean he cares more for you. All he cares about is what is his. And it just so happens to be you.”

He pauses again as he stops at a red light. He looks you over in your costume.

“You're an item to him. You know that right? If you stay with him, he will wrap you up and keep you from ever feeling anything for anyone again.” He bites the side of his cheek. “I can't watch you be with him anymore.”

You're crying. What he says makes sense, but when you're alone with Seonghwa he takes care of you. He looks at you like you're the most beautiful being on this earth. He acts like you're the air he breathes. But deep down, in the darkest part of your heart you've always known that a relationship like this is unrealistic and toxic at best. Fuck, you trust Seonghwa with your entire being. You know everyone practically throws themselves at him only to be rejected. You don't _care_ if he flirts with others. Because you know that he chose you.

Yet he can't handle you and your best friend carrying on. Yunho never would have made a move if he was able to act like he normally would around you. He was already used to that. But being threatened, and deprived, and _teased_ for not being with you made him want to do everything he was told not to. He didn't have the courage until tonight.

Part of you wonders. Even while Seonghwa brings passion, and a yearning to be touched into your life. Is that really love? Is it infatuation? Are you really just a side piece that he can have at any time? Does he genuinely love you? Or does he just love the idea of having someone? Yunho seems to be pouring his heart out, with all of the hurt showing plainly on his face. But you don't forget the smirk he had when he told Seonghwa that you _wanted_ to dance with him.  
You remember Seonghwa twitching the moment Yunho said that, and that's when you accept the fact that maybe you are just an item to him. If you think about it, you couldn't really picture the two of you having a family or a house together. But you can perfectly picture steamy get aways, being fucked hours on end by him. Do you really even love Seonghwa? Or do you just love what he does to you?

“I think--”

“You don't have to say anything. I'm sorry for blowing up.” Yunho interuppts you. You're nearly at the apartment now and your heart is aching.

“Let me talk.”

Yunho nods his head, his breathing has slowed down a lot since you both got in the car. So has yours.

“I think you're probably right” You say. “But I still chose to be with him, Yunho. So what if we may not love eachother? We enjoy being together. And if I had known all of this-- none of it would have happened.” You pause. “I wouldn't have asked you to dance with me.”

He looks at you with sad eyes.

“As much as I hate hearing you say that. I understand.”

“I'm not done.” You whisper, adding onto the previous statements.

“I may be an item to him, and I may find pleasure in that. But—i want you to know something. And it's something you can't ever forget.”

Yunho tilts his head a little bit. Pulling into the parking garage of the apartment.

“Since we are airing out our dirty laundry, I'm happy you're here with me tonight. And I never want to lose you.”

~

It's quiet in the apartment, but you can hear noise coming from Hongjoong's place. You choose to ignore it and go to your room. Yunho going to his own bedroom. Neither of you have spoken since you parked the car. And you've sobered up quite a bit. Emotional stress tends to do that to people, you guess.

You don't even take off your costume, even if you feel stupid that you thought it would be a great night in this cheap shit. You just flop down onto your bed and instantly start crying. Feeling so absolutely alone.

_Bzzt._

Your phone goes off and you simply pull it out of your tights, and see that it's Seonghwa. You also notice texts from Joong. You choose to ignore them. You don't need anymore of this tonight. So you throw your phone carelessly off the bed and readjust yourself, staring up at your ceiling. You go over what happened in your head. And realize how bad it must have looked to Seonghwa. But you're not so sure if he felt as heartbroken tonight as Yunho has had to feel for the entire duration of the relationship. A very large part of you is lost, and angry that Seonghwa threatened Yunho to stay away from you.

Sure any boyfriend would, if they knew someone had feelings for their girlfriend. But this was way out of line considering Yunho had felt that way for a _long time_ and never made a move. He was never a threat to the relationship until Seonghwa made him a threat.

You find yourself siding with Yunho more and more. Not even wanting to think about Seonghwa, and what's really going through his head when he's with you. Yeah, you chose to be with him. Even understanding now that it may not be out of love. Buy you really need to think about what you want. Do you want a soft love? Muted at times, warm, and safe? Or do you want Passion? Possesive behavior, tight grips, the feeling of someone wanting you so badly to themselves? The issue is that you can never truly just be Seonghwa's. What's the point if you can't fulfill him? He will leave you at some point when he realizes that you _refuse_ to lose Yunho.

_Bzzt._

You're pulled out of your thoughts by your phone vibrating loudly in the floor. Deciding to check it, because you and Seonghwa really should talk. You're definitely sobered up now. Maybe he is too.

_Incoming Message From: Yuyu_

Oh.

You ignore the string of messages from Seonghwa and Hongjoong. Opting to avoid even seeing the message preview before opening Yunho's text.

“ _feeling ok? u were pretty drunk before. I can bring u some water...”_

A smile pulls at your lips. Water would be fucking amazing right now.

“ _Water would be nice. Thanks.”_

It's almost cute how fast you hear him open his door and walk to the kitchen. Quickly hearing his footsteps coming back down the hallway and stopping at your door. He doesn't say anything, you wonder if he's unsure.

“You can come in” You say, without even letting him decide himself.

The door opens, and Yunho steps through with just his socks, boxers, and a tank on. Despite the shit that went down, he smiles at you. Even if his heart is sad seeing your tear stained cheeks.

“Here you go.” He says, handing you the water and turning quickly on his heel to leave.

“Don't go.”

You don't know what you're saying or doing, but the moment Yunho sits down next to you you're leaning into him. He kind of pulls back, knowing he shouldn't be near you at all right now. Seonghwa would absolutely break your heart, and break his legs if he found out that he was sitting on your bed right now.

You still don't know why you're doing it, but you push him back gently so he's lying on your bed, and you lie closesly next to him. Throwing your leg over his and nuzzling into his neck. He sighs out in shock and you bask in it.

“Y/n. This is dangerous.” Yunho whispers out to you gently.

“Don't care anymore.” You say back, moving your hand over to his cheek and pulling his face to yours.

“What is it that you want?” You ask him. So close you can count his eyelashes.

His cheeks turn red along with his ears, but he says nothing. You can see his eyes dart between looking to you and your lips. And without saying a word, you hear him inhale sharply before connecting the small distance between his lips and yours. You swear your heart skipped a beat in that moment, just so it could beat at the same time as his.

“I want this.” He practically whines into you, not stopping for even a second. Gently nudging you to roll slightly onto your back and adjusting himself on top of you.

“All I ever wanted was this.”

Yunho would be lying if he said his head wasn't fucking _spinning_ right now. Night after night Seonghwa got to feel this, and do this. He got to be close with you, he got to own you, be in you. Be so utterly wrapped up with you. And all Yunho could do was listen and shamelessly get himself off. Not this time. He wants to be selfish, just this one time.

Kissing him came easier than you'd expected. It felt right, and warm. His tongue gently caressing yours, biting at your bottom lip. Hands not yet touching you, you feel so full. And Seonghwa slips into a distant thought as you run your fingers through his messy hair and kiss him in a way you've never kissed anyone.

The pressure behind these kisses were immense. Without even being touched you felt yourself get wet just by the way he slowly kissed you. Breathy and sweet, sighing, making small moans into your mouth as if he were so desperate for this. You wanted _more._

Carefully, you trailed your hand from his hair down to his chest. You stop for a moment, wondering if he will stop. And he doesn't. So you continue to lower your hand, feeling his goosebumps prickle up the closer you get to his waist line.

Yunho isn't reacting with words, but his body is betraying him. Telling you what he wants. The moment you touch the heat between his legs, his hips buck towards you and his brows furrow. You eagerly continued to palm him through his boxers, noticing the large spot of precum that had already formed. He pulls back in a breath and hangs his head. Watching your hand closely as you palm at him. He sighs audibly, watching your small hands on him for the first time. And he finally looks back up to you.

His eyes aren't empty, they're so full of love and he honestly looks like a deer in headlights. Like he's absolutely amazed that this is happening. And you can't help but love the feeling of him on top of you.

“Yunho, you're—big.” You whisper to him, as you continue to palm through his boxers.

He's still chasing your lips, but you can feel him smile against them. And part of you wonders how you ever thought another person in this world existed aside from the boy on top of you. He's desperately thrusting into your hand when he detaches from your lips, and instantly attaches them to your neck.

He pauses. Noticing that you've already got a mark there. But the pain in his heart doesn't outweigh the love and desire he has for you. Ignoring the mark of someone else, he gently whispers into your ear.

“You deserve to be loved, not fucked. Not claimed.”

You gasp at the way he said it so sweetly, yet a direct hit to how Seonghwa fucks you.

“Let me show you what it feels like to be loved.”

He said it so quietly against your ear, you were ready for this. You don't care what tomorrow brings. This is all that matters. Yunho is all that matters.

“Please.” That's all you could manage to mutter to him. You feel like your words are jumbled and anything you say will come out stupid. So you decide to just—stop talking for once. Let him take over. He can have you. He can have whatever he wants.

Yunho very carefully moves his hands down to your exposed legs. Rubbing ever so lightly just below where your skirt ends. He's watching where he is putting his hands, and looks up to you for approval.

“Can I?”

You nod in response, feeling his warm hands snake their way up your skirt and stopping at your wet panties. He sighs in relief, almost as if he was worried you weren't wet. But you were, and that's all he needed before he adjusted himself to where your hand could no longer reach the part of him you wanted most.

He noticed a small whine come from your lips, and looks up to you.

“I want to see it.”

Honestly, you could listen to him talk to you like this all day. He's sacrificing his own pleasure just to _watch_ what he's doing to you. He wants to see what it is that makes you feel good. He wants to see and touch what he's been wanting this whole time. He's patient, too patient.

Yunho leaves you lying there, and scoots himself back to spread your legs. He's staring at you in awe, looking at how you're spread out for _him_. His confidence shoots through the roof, sitting between your legs, slowly placing his fingers on the heat of your panties. He hooks his fingers under them and easily pulls them to the side. The air hitting you sends a shiver down your spine, but you can't look away. Yunho is so focused on what's under your skirt, you could cry.

He was eager to slip his fingers inside of you, but he kept his thumb pressing perfectly against your clit as he slowly slides one in. Pulling it out and then fitting in two fingers. He looked up at you, and sees that you're holding your breath.

“Breathe, I want to know that you want me.”

You nod in response, letting out a breath and a small moan meant for him and him alone. He continues to slowly fuck his fingers into you, going just a bit faster each time you react to the pads of his fingers hitting _that_ spot. God his hands were so fucking big. Reaching the spot that most search for with ease.

He focuses his eyes in on your face as he keeps a steady rhythm, feeling himself twitch in his boxers. He doesn't think twice before he places his other hand around himself, running his hand down his length slowly as he trails his eyes back down to your exposed pussy. He matches his own strokes with each thrust of his fingers, driving you mad that he's so far away from you. Even though he is _in you._

“Please let me touch you~” You groan out, and he didn't fight it. Pulling his boxers down in one swift motion to fully expose himself to you. But before you could get a good look, he's thrusting his fingers in again, using his other hand to lower himself to where he is directly hovering over you.

You've never seen Yunho look like this before. Pupils dialated, breathing is labored, and it's all for you. You want to feel more of him, as much as he can give you. You want it. He looks you directly in the eye as he fucks his fingers into you faster, looking for the reaction he wants. And you give it to him with a very light moan. He closes his eyes and hangs his head, you can hear a soft laugh fall from his lips.

“I just really, really want this.” He said in a sigh, sounding happier than he ever has.

And then realization hits you. Yunho really. . _really_ loves you. He doesn't have to say it straight out. This man _loves_ you. And with the way your heart is beating for him, you question if maybe you love him back.

You don't say anything in response, and Yunho expected that. Quickly picking the pace back up with his fingers before looking at you with an expression so soft, you can barely believe that such a man is fucking you so good with just his hands. Your hooded eyes look back at him, mouth parted and ready to use if he wants.

Your hands still hadn't found their way down to his exposed dick, you were so lost in the fact that this feels so different for you. That there is no urgency to cum. The fact that you feel like reaching climax will make you more sad than anything, knowing this will all come to an end. He didn't even whine at the fact that you still haven't touched him again yet. He's just focused on you, staring at you and each expression your face makes when he presses back into you.

You already felt so fucked out, so tired, so completely infatuated with him in this very moment, you don't hesitate to pull his hand out of you, and immediately reach for his dick. Guiding it to where you _really_ need it right now.

He cocks his head at you, wondering if he should really just—full out go for it. And you don't even need him to say anything before you're whispering out.

“It's okay. I want you.”

And his smile is so bright as he nods his head. You're both still fully clothed, despite the fact that his boxers are slid down his thighs, and your skirt is hiked up to your stomach. He makes quick work at removing your panties, and taking in the full view of what he's done to you.

He lowers himself onto you, enveloping you completely. The head of his dick pressing against your clit so beautifully as he leans down to kiss you again. You help him adjust himself and align with your opening. Slowly sliding in, he sighs out through his nose, looking you in the eye with a stern expression.

You help him bottom out into you, holding his face in your hands when you hear that little moan come from his throat.

“ _Fuck”_ He groans slowly.

“You're so perfect.”

He's not as slow as he was with his fingers, easily thrusting into you with a fierce passion that felt so much different from Seonghwa. Feeling it in it's full length, it's the only thing you can focus on. The feeling of him sliding in and out of you had you holding your breath again. You've never been so quiet with someone so deep inside of you.

“Do I make you feel good?” He whispers to you, peppering a few kisses on your jaw. He was looking for approval, and _goddamn_ he _did not_ need approval. He knows damn well that what he's doing is driving you wild.

“I just want you to tell me, please.” He whispers again, thrusting hard and deep,holding onto the headboard above you.

“ I—I don't want you to let me go--” That's all you could stifle out for him. But he was pleased enough, looking down at you, watching the way you react to _his dick_ inside of you.

“I wont let you go.” He says back back to you.

It's not long before you feel that familiar heat in your abdomen. Your muscles begin to work against you but you _don't want this to end._

“Yunho- I-”

“Its okay, baby”

You stutter and moan at the name he just called you. _Baby_.

“Are you about to cum?” He asks, never once did he stop his hips while talking you through this.

You can only nod your head, knowing how proud he is of the work he's done up until this point.

“Tell me you're going to cum. Tell me-- Please.” He mutters out, hips stuttering a bit. You can tell he is eager to feel you cum around him, but he wants to hit climax _with you_. So you say it for him. Drawn out with a few moans in between, you tell him that he is going to make you cum. That he is making you

feel so good. That you don't want him to ever stop touching you.

And just like that, Yunho cries out quietly. You can feel him twitching inside of you which is what sends you over the edge. He's had you on the line for a while now, and that's all you needed before you were seeing stars. Feeling your whole body tense up as he held onto you tightly, letting you ride out your high with him.

~

You were worried he would leave your room once he finished. Seonghwa would do that in the beginning before he eventually just moved into your room. But Yunho never moved a muscle aside from helping you clean up.

“Sorry about your sheets. . “ He mumbles, inspecting the wet spots the both of you created.

You notice them shortly after, both of you making a face at eachother.

“Do you—i mean—um” He's back to himself, barely able to form a sentence if it's something he's nervous about.

“Yunho, dont ever keep anything from me again. Talk to me.” He sighs in response and nods his head.

“Do you want to sleep in my bed tonight then? It's three in the morning, and I'm not in the mood to clean sheets.”

Without hesitation you agree. Lifting yourself off the bed and standing next to him. Still partially in your costume-- you finally take it off. And you leaned down to grab a shirt off of the floor to put on. _It's Seonghwa's.”_ You slowly place the shirt back down and go to your closet. Quickly putting on a new tshirt and running into Yunho's room with him following.

Niether one of you noticed your phone thrown to the side, buzzing every few minutes with a message from Seonghwa. You sleep soundly that night, with Yunho wrapped around you. Whatever happens tomorrow, will happen tomorrow. You're not going to worry about it right now.

~


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this part has not yet been posted on tumblr. 
> 
> also it's not proof read pls forgive me. I've been really sick and trying my best to finish it.
> 
> sorry for no detailed smut in this chapter, i know most of it is only implied by others. i swear a nice steamy and dramatic scene is coming up c:  
> But it's really important you read what's happenin' right now bc yknow-- drama.

Waking up next to Yunho felt. . . unfamiliar. You were already so used to the way Seonghwa wrapped his arms around you in the wee hours of the morning. You feel like a knife is stabbing you directly in the heart remembering the events of last night. _All_ of the events.

You weren't quite sure what had gotten into you when it came to Yunho. Something inside of you _yearned_ for him. And you feel warm thinking about it, but so freezing cold realizing you've just cheated on your boyfriend. _Really cheated on him._ You wonder if you should tell him. You wonder if you should break up with him and never say anything about it. You wonder if you should just secretly be with both of them. Because you're selfish.

No matter what happens after all of this, you know things will _never_ be the same. You have to lose one of them, which in itself is hard considering you all live together. Maybe you should run away with Yunho and never look back. Or maybe you should kick Yunho out and prove to Seonghwa things can work out between the two of you. Earn his trust back and hope that none of what Yunho had told you was true. Does Seonghwa actually love you? Could he ever love you after this? Or did he just feel betrayed that what was his strayed off to do her own thing?

Cheating is wrong, you'd never dreamed of doing it. But you did. And you feel absolutely terrible, _but_ you would do it again. And again and again if that's what Yunho wanted. Loving Seonghwa came naturally but you really do wonder if the love was a facade. If it was something you clinged to because that's what you thought was supposed to happen. You still can't see a future and a family with Seonghwa but your heart breaks knowing that you're going to lose him.

Yunho on the other hand? You-- you think you might love him. Maybe a little tiny bit. You know you loved him as a friend, a best fucking friend. But the way you felt last night, so warm and completely enveloped by his entire being. You never wanted it to go away. You never wanted Yunho to leave you, even if that meant losing Seonghwa.

You hear a muffled breath beside you, raspy in all of his morning glory as his arms tighten around you. Relaxed and basking in the morning sun shining through the window. You look at him for a few moments, all of your thought process stopping the instant he's awake.

“Good morning.” Yunho sighs out, rubbing his thumb over your shoulder where he had been holding you. “I thought I was dreaming.” He smiles.

You smile back even though you feel an incredible amount of stress on your back. Stomach in knots and a splitting headache from the alcohol the night before. You don't realize it, but it's written all over your face. Yunho looks at you, knowing that this can't last.

  
  


~

  
  


After lying with him for several minutes, you had mustered up the courage to go back to your room. He kissed you sweetly on the forehead and nodded, knowing you felt off. He was sad, incredibly sad. Yunho really wanted you next to him for as long as he could keep you there, but you weren't his. Even if you were last night. When the moon was out, shining so bright. And your tear stained cheeks smiled as you moaned with him on top of you. His stomach flips just thinking about how much he really loves you. How much he never wants to see you cry again. You both feel the impending doom, not even mentioning what happened the night before once you both woke up together.

You whine as you walk into your bedroom, at the mess in the bed. You wonder if the sheets smell like him now, any trace of Seonghwa replaced with the puppy dog love Yunho so eagerly gave to you. Flash backs to his fingers inside of you, his mouth conveying what his heart has wanted all of these years. You feel your heart racing as you try your best to clean up. Throwing the sheets in a pile on the floor, knowing you need to wash his scent off before anyone comes home. Which is strange, that no one has come back home yet.

Wondering if it's still early, you realize you had left your phone lying somewhere—long forgotten the moment Yunho stepped foot into your room last night. _Fuck._ You see your phone, absolutely dead lying in the floor half way under your bed. You quickly pick it up and place it on it's charger before running the laundry to the washer.

You're afraid to go back into your room and face the messages on your phone. You already hear it buzzing non stop on your side table when you open the door. Breathing in deeply, you exhale and pick up your phone.

_12 Unread Text Messages._

_19 Missed Calls._

_5 Voicemails._

You choose to look at your missed calls. Only most of them are from Seonghwa but six of them are from Hongjoong, and one was from San. You scroll for a moment looking at all of the calls you'd missed weeks ago, that have nothing to do with what's happening now. You really want to run away.

There were four voicemails from Hongjoong, and one from San. You decide to go ahead and listen to them. Starting with San's voicemail because it felt like it was the safest. He had no idea what happened last night, and you're jealous of that. You press play on the voicemail.

“ **November 1st, 3:59 am.** **Voicemail from: San--** _Y/n...what the fuck happened?! Seonghwa has been calling me non stop. I finally answered for him and he said Yunho did something to you! Are you okay?! We are all really worried, please pick up your phone or call me ASAP!”_

You feel sick. He even called San? You've ruined everyone's Halloween.

“ **November 1st, 12:10 am. Voicemail from: Hongjoong –** _Hey, can you call me? I need your assistance with your very drunk boyfriend. He keeps spouting some bullshit about Yunho.”_

“ **November 1st, 2:04am. Voicemail from: Hongjoong –** _Hey, I need you to come over when you get home. Seonghwa won't calm down and he keeps demanding to see you.”_ You can hear your boyfriend in the background of the message, arguing with Mingi. But you can't make out a word they are saying. You wonder if Hongjoong was outside of his apartment when he called you. “ _Y/n, I know you didn't mean to do anything and I shouldn't be the one to tell you. But Seonghwa said that Yunho has been trying to get with you for ages now. We all kind of knew he liked you but we didn't think he would go_ ** _that far._** _We just need you to come over tonight okay? Ill leave the door unlocked for you. Call me back if you can.”_

“ **November 1st, 2:21am. Voicemail from: Hongjoong –** _I wasn't going to call you again, but I decided you needed to know something. First of all, i've never seen him cry before tonight. And secondly, I know you're home already. No, I didn't tell Seonghwa that, but I went to knock on your door just to check. I heard some noise. I know he's with you, you know. Call me back.”_

“ **November 1st, 3:20 am. Voicemail from: Hongjoong –** _still not picking up? You're really walking on egg shells, you know that right?”_ Mingi speaks behind him into the phone. “ _you don't get to have space from us if you can't even say that you're okay, y/n. We aren't going to stop calling you.”_

You made Seonghwa cry? Are you fucking kidding me? You know you're in for a rude awakening and you know that none of this will blow over. So fuck it, you check your text messages.

_**11:54 Message from: Hwa** _

“ _i should have brought you with us. call an uber, don't leave with him.”_

_**12:03 Message from: Hwa** _

“ _i'm sorry if I scared you. Please come to joong's I just really need to talk to you.”_

_**12:09 Message from: Hwa** _

“ _at least respond to me....”_

_**12:36 Message from: Joong** _

“ _r u safe? or r u still at the party?”_

_**12:09 Message from: Joong** _

“ _he's really mad that I brought him to my house and left u there with yunho. can i call u? I understand if u feel like u can't talk to hwa right now but u can talk to me rite? he's really worried about u tho”_

There's a large gap between the messages now.

**01:36 Message from: Hwa**

“ _you're with him, arent you?”_

**01:37 Message from: Hwa**

“ _you haven't texted me back or answered my calls. im going to be up all night waiting for you... It kills me to even think you're with him. But you said you're mine. I trust you. I overreacted at the party and im sorry y/n. I'm trying to be calm right now. I'm really drunk and just couldn't stand to see you that close with someone else. Please come to joong's house and talk to me...i'm really trying here...”_

**01:58 Message from: Hwa**

“ _You're really with him right now?Please tell me your phone died and you just decided to sleep in san's room.”_

**02:45 Message from: Hwa**

“ _i've been calling san and he hasn't picked up. You havent picked up. I even called yunho. . “_

**03:24 Message from: Joong**

“ _r u really just going to ignore everyone? Ur starting to make me angry now. Just fkin call him back. he hasn't stopped looking at his phone for hours...this is so annoying. U need to explain urself.”_

You're shocked that your phone had been buzzing the entire time you were with Yunho. While the two of you were thinking of nothing but each other, everyone else was just thinking of you.

**03:46 Message from: Hwa**

“ _i talked to san and he said you weren't with him. he told me he left you at the party with yunho...why havent you texted me? why are you doing this? what is he doing to you?”_

**04:33 Message from: Sani**

“ _i know everyone is blowing up your phone right now. But I tried to tell them you were probably just sleeping. You didn't answer for me either. Even if you are just sleeping, everyone is really worried. Seonghwa didn't tell me what yunho did but he's really mad at me for leaving you alone with him. Has this ever happened before?”_

You feel hurt. And angry that Seonghwa has painted Yunho out as a bad person who “did something” to you. He didn't do anything that you didn't ask for. He never has. If you asked him to never talk to you again, he would probably do it. Yunho would never hurt you. The only person hurting you right now is Seonghwa, and even so. . . you're hurting him too. This is a mess.

“Umm” Yunho says through the crack in your door. You turn in surprise, wondering how long he's been standing there watching you stare at your phone.

“Seonghwa called me a few times last night.” He opens your door and steps inside, scratching his head.

“What do we do?” And the way he says it is so small. So muted, and full of fear.

You realize Yunho is having an “ _oh fuck”_ moment too. And that's when you take into consideration that you're not alone in this situation. You don't have to do this alone. Yunho seems to be with you every step of the way and it feels. . . safe. It feels like even though this is a huge mess, he will help you clean it up. No matter what happens, you _will not_ lose Yunho.

“Just. . i-” You breathe, seeing that it's already past noon and no one has come home. “I can take care of it. Please don't worry.”

Yunho smiles at you but shakes his head. Stepping up behind you, wanting so badly to have his arms around you again. You lean into him easily and on instinct. You didn't even think about it.

“I'm not going to let you deal with this alone. Seonghwa is mad at _me._ Not you. He left a voicemail. Do you want to hear it?”

You shake your head, but he was already pulling out his phone and you watch as his thumb slides to unlock it. Thinking about how smooth the pads of his fingers looked.

And you realize that Seonghwa has no idea that the two of you did anything more than dance last night. Do you want to lie to him? Is there a way out of this without it hurting so badly? You don't want to lose either of them but. . – Suddenly the familiar sound of your boyfriend comes through a muffled speaker. He's slightly slurring his words.

“ _If you think i'm calling you to fight with you, you're wrong. Y/n isn't answering her phone. . . Look. I'm never going to be okay with what you did. But we were friends, and even if this is the last favor you ever do for me. Don't take her away from me.”_ Seonghwa's voice pauses, and you can hear him sigh into the speaker. _“I just need her to call me. I'm asking you as a last resort to at least tell me she is at home and sleeping. . . “_ You can now hear Hongjoong's muffled voice on the phone. _“c'mon hwa. You need to sleep.”_ And then the phone hangs up.

The silence in your room is deafening as you turn around and cling to Yunho. Feeling so incredibly exhausted by what your heart is doing to you. Half beating for Yunho and half burning for Seonghwa. You're at a loss.

“Hey. . It's okay. Just tell me what I can do.” Yunho says sweetly, dipping his head down to look at you. He knows you're crying but he doesn't point it out.

“Don't leave.” Is all you can muster out before he is leaning in just a little bit lower, hovering his lips over yours. And his words almost hit you like a freight train. “ _I've tried before. I can't.”_

And it's all so fucking cliché, you hate it. You feel sudden anger that such a man has loved you for so long, and let you slip from his fingertips by his very own friend. You feel angry that he had to listen to you love on someone else, and watch you _be with_ someone else. You're so frustrated that he couldn't just fucking tell you. Yunho has been hurting. And now you are hurting. You don't want anyone else to hurt anymore and you really hope it's true that Seonghwa doesn't love you. Because at least then he can move on quickly. You don't want to break anyone's heart because you've already been doing just that for _years on end._

You stare at Yunho in awe, hurt in your eyes as he kisses you. There is no turning back now, you love him. Even if you thought you loved Seonghwa, it felt nothing like this. It didn't feel everlasting. It definitely didn't feel like your entire heart was being dipped in gold each time he touched you. And you feel so incredibly _bad_ because you still want to try and fix this. You wish with your entire being that it was Seonghwa who made you feel this way. Because that's how it's supposed to fucking be. And you still want to see if Seonghwa is okay, you want to see if he does truly love you.

_Even if you realize you don't love him._

“Yunho, I need to see him. . .” You say quietly, and pulling away gently.

His eyes look sad, but he would never hold you back. He knows this is wrong.

“Go on then.”

Looking at him was unbearable at that moment. So you didn't, you looked at the floor and searched for one of Seonghwa's shirts to replace with the one you're wearing. You slip on a pair of Seonghwa's sweats, and you try to just completely envelope yourself with everything that is _Seonghwa,_ as to hide the burning touch of Yunho still lingering on your skin. You feel like he will see it, he will be able _sense_ him on you.

Before you're heading out the door to Hongjoong's apartment, with your heart in your ears--You can hear Yunho tell you that he will have new sheets on your bed before anyone gets back. You want to keep crying, knowing that he's practically hiding evidence. And you decide that if that's what he is implying. . . You're not going to tell Seonghwa about what happened. So you quickly shoot him a text before knocking on Hongjoong's door.

“ _Yunho. . I'm not ready to tell him what happened. I don't think I want to. I hope you understand...”_

Just as you press send, Hongjoong's door is flying open. You hadn't even knocked but that didn't stop the smaller man from somehow knowing that you were there. He grabbed you by the arm and pulled you into the apartment, spinning you around and keeping you against his door, finger in your face.

“Y/n I swear to god--” He whispers sternly, looking around to make sure Seonghwa was still where he was supposed to be, unknowing of you being there. “You'd better have a good fucking excuse.” And without another word, he's walking away and nodding to his bathroom.

“We're forcing him to take a shower. He looked like death, and he didn't sleep at all.” Mingi says, walking through the kitchen and standing in front of you. He's wearing one of Hongjoong's bathrobes which was incredibly small on him.

“Sit on the couch, he's been in there for a while. He should be finishing up.”

You take a seat awkwardly on Hongjoong's couch. This studio is absolutely tiny but it looks so big when Hongjoong is standing in front of you, arms crossed and tapping his foot. You instantly start to cry from pressure, and he immediately lightens up and is throwing himself into the seat next to you.

“We're all just really frustrated, pleased calm down.” He soothes you while rubbing your shoulder, Mingi following suit and patting you on the head.

“Seonghwa really thinks you're cheating on him, you know?” He breathes a deep sigh. “But we know you, y/n. You'd never do that to anyone. I think he just needs to realize that.”

That's it. That's your way out. You don't have to tell him yet, right? You can explain that you were drunk and crossed the line without thinking. That you didn't realize how close you'd been dancing, and that Yunho apologized to you. That he put you to bed and didn't speak to you for the rest of the night. You can tell him your phone was silenced and you were too drunk to remember it. You can tell him that you love him, and that you're so sorry. . . Even if your entire heart is telling you it's a lie.

As you sit there, trying to act like you're not guilty of loving another man- you hear the bathroom door open and for the first time you see his face. The last time he looked at you, he looked so betrayed. But right now he looks tired. Eyes hooded and damp hair falling in front of them. You realize how absolutely beautiful he is, and how you don't deserve him. But you give him a weak smile anyway.

Hongjoong looks at Mingi and nods that they should leave. Thoughtfully giving you both the entire studio to talk or fight or do whatever you needed to do. They didn't actually leave though. They didn't want to leave him alone with you, or you alone with him. They just. . . _didn't know what to expect._ So they stand outside of the apartment door, slightly cracked and listening closely.

“Seongh--” Before you can even say anything, he rushed over, slamming you into his arms. You can already hear his voice crack as he goes to speak.

“I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry—I. . was so worried.” He says into your hair and hugging you tighter before pulling back to look at you. “ _Why_ didn't you answer your phone or texts?”

You're shocked he's not asking about Yunho. He's only asking if you're okay. Asking why you lost all contact with him for an entire night. And you're suddenly wondering why he didn't just unlock the apartment himself to find you.

In reality, Hongjoong had taken his keys from him the moment he heard noises in your apartment. He had told Seonghwa that it's a bad time to talk, even if you were home. That you both needed to sleep and to stop worrying. Seonghwa fought him the whole time, even searched his studio for the keys while Hongjoong showered.

“I--” You go to speak but your mind goes blank.

“Please talk to me. Don't go quiet again.” He says back to you, with such _hurt_ in his voice. You sigh, and breathe in deep. You're going to do it.

“I just felt really guilty, and very drunk. Yunho brought me home and I immediately went to sleep. My phone was on silent the whole night and i-” You start crying. “I'm just really sorry I scared everyone. I love all of you so much, I never want to hurt any of you. I'm sorry I was being so stupid!”

You lied perfectly. Except for the part where you said that you loved _them all_ so much. Even if you intended to say that you only loved Seonghwa. You couldn't bring yourself to say it. The lying itself is already too much. It's even harder to tell someone you love them when. . . you're realizing that you don't.

He smiles at you, shaking his head.

“I love you, you know that right? That's the only reason I reacted the way I did. I was way too drunk and couldn't find you. Only to find _my kitten_ , dancing with a stray dog.” And the way he said it sounded so—insulting. You felt mad, but pushed past it.

“I really didn't think that would bother you Seonghwa. . .Me and Yunho have been friends for a long time and have always danced together. . “ You pause. “I feel like such a bad girlfriend, I didn't take your feelings into consideration at all, and I just really want things to be okay right now.”

In an instant, you felt so disgusting when he lifted your chin and kissed you gently. Because after last night, it felt so wrong to have any lips on yours that weren't Yunho's.

“I really just needed to hear that last night. But it makes me feel better. Just--” Seonghwa pinches slightly harder at your chin. You feel as if he is lying right back you, not feeling better at all. Can he sense the lies?

“Don't ever do that to me again.”

You nod obediently. Wondering how Yunho will feel seeing the both of you come home together again. You wonder how Seonghwa will feel seeing Yunho again. You wonder what your room will smell like, or if there is any trace left. You worry you didn't close out your message to Yunho before Hongjoong pulled you inside, and now you can't even unlock your phone in front of your _boyfriend._ Everything feels so fucking wrong. But it feels so _right_ when you're doing it with Yunho.

You suddenly hear Seonghwa's phone go off. Volume full blast, and you know it's because he was waiting on you to call. You both flinch at the high pitched sound, but Seonghwa very quickly answered it. You can hear San on the line, _very loudly._ Because he's San.

“Yeah, she came to Joong's a little while ago. We've talked and figured out everything, no worries.” He pauses and glances at you. “N-No. Yunho didn't do anything else.” He tries to get another word in but San is just talking a mile a minute, and then Seonghwa is handing the phone to you. “He wants to yell at you.”

You stare at the phone, wondering what kind of questions San is going to ask you. Wondering if he is also mad at you. San and Yunho had been close friends before you even moved in, so you wonder if San would take his side when it all comes crashing down. Pushing Seonghwa out of the tight knit group you all managed to build together. It saddens you to imagine him losing everything all at once. His girlfriend, his friends, and his home. And it will all be your fault. Because you realized too late that you loved someone else.

Taking the phone in your hand, you breathe in deeply and meekly greet him.

“Yo' clearly it's been a rough night for everyone. I'm glad you're okay but next time the least you can do is text _me_ back.” He pauses for a moment, and you can hear him smacking someone (probably wooyoung). “Anyway. Y/n, I trust you with my life. I want you to be able to trust me too. So if anything like this ever happens again, I need you to talk to me so I can try to help you.”

He's still speaking a mile a minute, not allowing a word in.

“Is Seonghwa still right next to you?” You nod, realizing he can't see you.

“ _Yes.”_

“Okay, well I'm coming home in a little bit. We can talk later okay? I'm bringing Wooyoung too.”

You agree with him, and try to say your goodbyes. But he interrupts you again.

“Oh and figure out if Mingi is sleeping at ours for his last night or Joong's place. Or y'know-- they can both just pile up in our living room again if they want. I think we should all get together to ease the tension anyway.”

And then he just hands up. You couldn't even respond, slowly lowering your boyfriend's phone from your ear you still feel heavy in your heart. But Seonghwa quickly speaks up.

“Everything okay? He sure got quiet, he was yelling at me. I figured he'd be yelling at you too.”

You simply nod before leaning into Seonghwa.

“Can things be okay now? I missed you.” You say too easily and Seonghwa nods with a smile, shouting that Hongjoong and Mingi can come back inside the apartment.

  
  


~

Seonghwa was sleepy, you could see it in his face. But he refused to sleep. Jumping at the sound of Mingi's voice when he announced that he is going to spend his entire fall break here with all of you. He didn't want to go home just yet, and you could tell how much he probably dreaded having to leave at all with the way he looked at Hongjoong. When you followed up by asking them if they wanted to sleep at your apartment tonight to ease tension. Hongjoong eagerly agreed, but you still heard Mingi's slight protests at that. Either way, you felt happy that you wouldn't be left alone with just Yunho, Seonghwa, and San.

“San is going to bring Wooyoung too.” You say sheepishly, still afraid to come back out of the shell you've built around yourself. You'd been at Hongjoong's for about two hours now, eating breakfast that Mingi made for the four of you.

Everyone nods, already getting ready to head down the hall to your apartment. You really hope that Yunho changed the sheets for you. And you also really hope that he understands how much you love him, even if you have to pretend to love Seonghwa right now.

Walking down the hallway, just a few doors down to your own apartment you can feel Seonghwa grab your hand and hold it tightly. You look at him, and he seems content enough. You hold his hand back, smiling weakly at him knowing full well you haven't even showered since you and Yunho had sex. You feel like you need to do that as soon as possible.

When you open the apartment door, Hongjoong throws himself inside and runs to San's usual spot on the couch. Mingi follows shortly after, and Hongjoong shouts that if San wants his spot back, he'll have to go through the both of them. Mingi had plopped himself right on top of Hongjoong, and you're jealous at how comfortable they can be together.

“I think i'm going to shower and stuff now. . .” You state simply, walking towards your bedroom. Ultimately trying to get there before Seonghwa does.

“I know I already showered, but I'm going to come with you.” He trails behind you. Walking right behind you as you open your bedroom door. He's not letting you out of his sight.

There were new sheets on the bed, but Yunho left the covers a mess. A smart move, because Seonghwa knows you never make your bed. The sheets happened to be a different color from the day before though, so tension is high. But he says nothing, and you don't think he notices.

With Seonghwa still glued to your side, you walk to the bathroom and notice that Yunho's door is closed but you can hear him inside. You try not to look for too long at his closed door. Seonghwa is definitely on high alert right now. And so are you, hoping that the scent of Yunho has faded off of you. And you're very aware that Seonghwa probably can't smell him on you but. . . you can. So immediately upon hopping in the shower you're washing yourself. Seonghwa didn't actually get in with you like you assumed he would have, instead he just sits quietly and tries to talk to you. Whisper shouting to you.

“Y/N. . . how did you manage to change your sheets but not shower yet?” He asks. Moving the shower curtain slightly to look at you. He looks you up and down, and you can't tell what the look in his eye is telling you. He's curious, still angry, and ultimately searching for answers.

“I- uh. . “ You stutter for a moment. “I didn't want to tell you, i'm embarrassed but I threw up this morning.” Voice meek and cracking on the words, you look back at him. You can feel the warm water washing away every sin you've committed against the beautiful man sitting in front of you. Lying feels much easier when you're in the shower, so vulnerable looking to him.

He simply nods back at you, accepting the lie at face value without asking anything else about the sheets. He lets the shower curtain fall back into place and you can hear him shift a little bit.

“Wish I could have been home to take care of you.” And the way he says it is so passive aggressive. But part of you believes he meant it. The he does wish that he was home with you this morning. That he wasn't pent up in Hongjoong's apartment waiting for you. You choose to ignore it as you wash your hair.

Closing your eyes tightly as to not get soap in them, you can't help but see the image of Yunho in your head. Disappointed, upset, and even _angry_ at you for allowing whatever it was between you two to only last for one night. Because you're too much of a coward to own up to what you've done. And you're still finding it hard to tell yourself you love Seonghwa. Because this entire time you've been worried about how things are going to be ruined. How Seonghwa will hate you. How this small family you've grown so fond of will be torn apart. But none of the worries are about losing Yunho. You're determined to keep him in your life. You _want_ him. You _want to be with him_ , even as your boyfriend sits three feet away from you in the closed off bathroom. You want to make it work for the sake of your friends. But your heart only wants Yunho now, and it all happened so fucking fast, your mind is spinning.

You accept the fact that you and Seonghwa will not last long. And you even find it hard to try and enjoy what time you do have left with him. Because it feels like that time could be spent with some else. It could be spent not leading Seonghwa on. You feel like every moment without Yunho is a waste, and it's depressing.

_You're mad that you're dragging this on. You should have just fucking told him the truth._

  
  


~

  
  


“Sup bitches.” A voice shouts through the opening front door. Wooyoung steps in with San trailing quietly behind him. His hands are clasped in front of him and you can see his chest heaving.

“Hi- hi guys.” San says quietly, and you perk up a little bit. Standing up from the couch you try to go over to hug him. But he _very quickly_ turns on his heel, grabs Wooyoung, and runs to his room.

“Guess we can talk to him later then?” You laugh, turning around to see a laughing Hongjoong.

“Did you see that shit? He had a raging boner!” And he's laughing so brightly you almost melt into it if Mingi hadn't done it first.

“Guess San finally grew a pair and asked him out or something.” Seonghwa says with a slight smile, not having moved an inch from the spot he was sitting in next to you. His legs are spread obscenely wide, taking up the majority of that side of the couch. And if the circumstances were different, you'd be heading over to sit between them right now..

“Well, he did sleep at Woo's place last night didn't he?” You respond, sauntering back into the living room and catching a glimpse of something on Hongjoong's neck. You stop in your tracks and lean down to face him. He stops whatever it is he was doing at that moment and looks at you in confusion.

“And just what the _fuck_ are you looking at?” He sounds so offended, knowing full well what you're looking at.

“Joong—is that?”

Hongjoong practically slams his hand over the dip between his shoulder and neck, hiding the obvious spot that was very clearly supposed to be hidden by the shirt he chose to wear today.

“It's nothing! Really!” And he glances at Seonghwa, for some reason expecting a reaction. But Mingi moves his hand for him, and smiles up at you. Both of them are red in the face, but Hongjoong looks completely panicked before Seonghwa speaks up with a slight laugh.

“Ah- so _that's_ what I heard when you both disappeared at like six in the morning?”

Apparently, Seonghwa couldn't sleep and took over Hongjoong's entire living room to sit in silence staring at his phone. At some point he and Mingi went to the bathroom. Y'know. To brush their teeth.

“We didn't disappear! I was brushing my teeth!” Hongjoong stated a little louder than he meant to. But Mingi quickly shuts down any form of excuse the panicked man could muster up.

“And I was watching him brush his teeth, from the angle of that mark there.” He laughs when Hongjoong gasps at him. “And then I also brushed my teeth.”

“I'm not sure. It sounded like _more_ happened in there.” Seonghwa drags on. And he's acting as normal as ever, it makes you feel like maybe he really is okay. Even though when he has you alone for even a short moment he's being passive aggressive and questioning everything you've done since the party. And you don't blame him. Even you feel different, you feel like you're acting different at the very least. It's really hard to pretend you love someone, even if just a morning ago it felt so natural.

“You didn't hear shit! We weren't even in the bathroom for that long, Hwa! ” Hongjoong is still shouting in panic. Voice raised an entire octave higher than his regular speaking voice.

“So. . You just sucked his neck a little? That's like PG-13. You can do better.” Wooyoung says, walking around the corner with his hair a mess.

“You're right, I _can_ do better. But unfortunately we were babysitting a crybaby all night.” Mingi says with a shrug, and Hongjoong immediately slaps him.

“Seonghwa is not a cry baby! We were all worried. And--” His face is _incredibly red_.

“So what you're saying is, Seonghwa cock blocked Hongjoong?” San says over Wooyoung's shoulder, acting as if he didn't just get plowed in the matter of the five entire minutes.

“And what about you two? Hm?” Hongjoong shoots back. He's not mad, but clearly embarrassed. “How do you even manage to be finished _that quickly?_ ”

San doesn't even react, he simply shrugs and looks at Wooyoung.

“We had a lot of pent up tension, if you know what I'm saying.” Wooyoung adds, and he winks directly at you as if he _knows something._ Wooyoung hadn't even been involved in the situation, he was just on the side lines listening to San try to get in contact with you.

Hongjoong argues with San and Wooyoung for the next half hour, you're realizing how well everyone gets along. Especially with the way Mingi slips in little comments making Hongjoong buckle under everyone's gaze. And if it weren't for you- you think Seonghwa and Yunho would be good friends too. Yet Yunho is pent up in his room while the rest of you are in the living room listening to your tiny neighbor argue over how many pizzas you should all order for tonight.

Everyone seems so happy. San and Wooyoung having finally done whatever it was they needed to do. Hongjoong finally finding someone who _instantly_ liked him for who he is. Then there's you, with the facade of loving Seonghwa, who is sitting directly next to you with his arm thrown around your shoulder. But really you'd rather be in Yunho's room with him, listening to his new favorite song or finding out that he has a secret stash of tasty cakes hidden from you and San.

“Y/n?” You hear your name being shouted three feet from you, snapping you out of your thoughts.

“Huh? What?” You say back in total confusion.

“Is two supreme pizzas and a pepperoni okay with you or did you want something else?” San asks, looking at you knowingly.

“Oh yeah, that's fine.”

“Okay cool, anybody wanna go grab Yunho and make him at least say hi to his guests before dinner?” He adds, looking around the room.

Seonghwa stiffens at even the mention of his name. But you're quick to place your hand on his leg. He instantly relaxes under your touch when you look at him and smile.

“Nothing happened Hwa, I'm telling you.” You whisper to him. He looks at you and nods. Leaning in to kiss you gently.

“No takers? Okay. Y/n, I vote you go get Yunho.” Wooyoung says, instantly Seonghwa pulls back from the barely connected kiss and just stares at him.

San gives Wooyoung a knowing look. A look that says “stay out of it.”

“I'll go with you!” San shouts happily, as if he wasn't just shooting a death glare. He sees it as a way to get you away from Seonghwa for even a second. He wants to play this off as if nothing happened and everything is normal. And he's very good at that. Because Seonghwa doesn't even flinch that time. You think Seonghwa feels comfortable as long as you're not _alone_ with Yunho.

Pulling you from Seonghwa's side San tries to pull you down the hallway. You look back at your boyfriend, and he looks back at you. You feel so bad that you have to be the one to go get Yunho. Of all people, it's you. But even you feel a bit less tense with San beside you.

Seonghwa is realizing how strange everyone seems to be acting towards the both of you. He noticed Wooyoung's snide comments. But if he had spoken up about any of it, it would have only made the tensions high for everyone else. He keeps it to himself, trying his best to trust you.

  
  


~

  
  


Seonghwa had to be the one to order the pizza, and as you're heading towards Yunho's room with San you can hear him try to shut the other three men up as he places the order. It doesn't seem to be working as he keeps having to repeat the order over the inappropriate sounds the three other men are making _loudly_ beside him.

You try to laugh at the situation because really, it _is_ funny, but San is silently grabbing your arm and slipping the both of you into Yunho's room. You can see Yunho get startled, jumping and dropping his phone as he looks up at the two of you.

“Let's make this quick.” San says, shoving you to sit on the bed next to Yunho.

“First of all, Y/n. Yunho called me this morning and told me everything.”

You look at Yunho and he refuses to make eye contact, but you don't feel betrayed. It's hard to keep it to yourself without feeling as if the whole world is crashing around you. At least he told someone you both can trust.

“I'm mad that you didn't tell me anything. I'm angry that you lied to Seonghwa. And I'm _really annoyed_ that all of this happened the one time I'm trying to deal with my own love life.”

The tears are already welling up in your eyes at the mere thought of San being upset with you, but he very _sternly_ tells you that if you go back into the living room looking like you're about to cry-- all hell will break loose. And neither of you can say a word. You're just sitting there as San quietly grills the both of you.

“I love you both so much. And for the longest time I thought you guys would be together. And I'm really happy that you guys finally managed to sort out whatever the fuck is was between you but--” He looks around the room and sighs. “You need to think really hard about what you're going to do. If you guys love eachother you need to end it with Seonghwa. Y/n.-- _now._ ” He breathes in. “And if it was just a hook up-- you both need to drop it and move on. Stop making it weird. I can _feel_ Seonghwa wanting to punch you Yunho. So don't you dare go out there acting any different than you usually do.”

You both nod, and look at each other for the first time since you left the apartment this afternoon.

“So what's it going to be then?” San asks, hands on his hip.

“I think you know that I love you.” Yunho sighs out directly to you. And hearing him say it fills your heart so full that you don't know what to say. So you try your best.

“I'm still confused. . . and everything is happening so fast. But I know I don't want to lose you--” You breathe in feeling strange that you're not crying at all while saying it. “I--”

San interrupts you again.

“No one is forcing you to decide right _now._ But I need you to understand that Seonghwa is my friend and he always will be. But so are you. And so is Yunho. None of you will be losing _me._ ” He breathes, trying his best to say everything he can in the short time span you three have alone together. “I can't speak for anyone else. But y/n. You need to tell Seonghwa. And know that when you do I'm here.”

San is looking at you with a look in his eye that screams disappointment. And it's all too much. You can feel Yunho's warmth beside you, and one of your closest friends in front of you telling you that he will support you even if you _cheated._ Not to mention your actual boyfriend thirty feet outside of this door waiting patiently for you to get the fuck away from Yunho.

You realize you have to put an end to this. You have to put an end to you and Seonghwa. You have San to talk to you, you have Yunho to comfort you-- and you really hope Hongjoong and Mingi don't get too mad. You feel like their hearts with break with Seonghwa's.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this is the final chapter!
> 
> It is not proof read, please be patient and kind as i find the energy to revise!
> 
> I hope you enjoy it!!
> 
> follow me on ateezhoney.tumblr.com to send requests!

  
  


  
  


There's a knock at the door, and everyone perks up from the lively conversation led by San and Wooyoung. It's the pizza. You're _so_ hungry, considering you haven't eaten since breakfast and it's now almost eight at night. You briefly wonder if Yunho even ate anything today at all-- eyes trailing to him.

Seonghwa had fallen asleep next to you for a little while, head in your lap. His eyes snapped open once he heard the knock on the door. You has shifted your eyes away from Yunho the moment you realized Seonghwa could probably tell you were looking at him.

Before all of this, you were able to look at Yunho. You were able to communicate openly with him as long as he pushed you away in return. All in front of Seonghwa. But you think your boyfriend knows that he won't push away anymore if you try to even say “hello”. Seonghwa must think that if you speak _anything_ out to Yunho, he will absolutely take and have you right that moment. There, in the living room in front of everyone.

You feel like after the way Yunho so smugly spoke to Seonghwa at the Halloween party, he will always be suspicious and on edge as long as you're together and living in the same apartment with Yunho.

“Oooo! Smells so good!” San shouts as he opens the door to greet the pizza man. You can see him pause for a moment as he signs the receipt and point to the man.

“Weren't you that guy who was totally shit faced at Yeosang's Halloween party?”

The pizza man just shrugs at him, eyes drooping a bit. He leans into the apartment and gets a good look at everyone before speaking back to him.

“Aren't those the guys who tried to cause an all out fist fight and got kicked out?” He points at Seonghwa and Yunho.

Seonghwa looks the man in the eye and realized he's the one everyone was cheering for. A small “ _Jongho! Jongho! Jongho!”_ trailing through his thoughts.

“They didn't get kicked out, first of all buddy.” Hongjoong says with his finger in the air. Only to be interuppted by the pizza man.

“I don't actually care. Thanks for the tip man. See ya~”

And with that, San is left standing at the door with way more pizza than he agreed to pay for.

“Who the fuck ordered a pineapple pizza?!” San asks furiously when he opens the first box.

“Wooyoung thought it would be cool to try it instead of hating on it.” Seonghwa shrugs, and you can feel the warm palm of his hand on the back of your neck.

Yunho was sitting at the kitchen table through all of this, completely across the room from the both of you. You had a very clear view of him but you feel like if you were to look too long Seonghwa would be throwing chairs. And Yunho was sitting at an angle to where he would have to turn his entire head to see the two of you. He didn't even attempt to look at you the entire time. Only sitting in a way where it looked natural to turn and talk to Hongjoong and Mingi. San and Wooyoung had been moving about the living room anyway, not sitting in one spot. Probably because San's designated spot had been taken over by the puppy love of two pirates.

San was embarrassed that the pineapple pizza was low key pretty good. You didn't like it though. Pineapple always tasted too acidic for you so you stuck with the pepperoni. Your boyfriend had sat very closely to you at the kitchen table, Yunho getting up directly after you both sat down and moving to the living room with his plate of pizza. San told him to act normal, and even if you feel like he isn't, to everyone else it seems normal. You, Seonghwa, and Yunho are the only ones who feel the immense pressure of this situation. You wonder if San feels it too, or if he even cares right now. With his body pressed right up against Wooyoung at the kitchen table.

Hongjoong and Mingi were sitting in the living room with their pizza, completely inseparable from the moment they met. It's pretty gross, but you know the only reason Mingi is staying for his entire fall break is because of Hongjoong. He didn't even pack to stay longer so part of you wonders how many times he's going to be doing laundry.

“You know I missed you, right?” Seonghwa whispers to you, opting out of drinking unlike everyone else in the apartment. You kind of feel yourself smile at that. You knew he did, he wouldn't have been texting you non stop last night if he hadn't missed you even a little bit.

“You know I missed you too.” You whisper back to him, making sure no one can hear you even though it wasn't entirely a lie this time. And he kind of just stares back at you.

“I didn't, no.”

“I told you I did at Hongjoong's house!” You whisper shout right back at him, feeling defensive. San and Wooyoung stop their conversation to look at you.

“C'mon Seonghwa, stop being bitter. Of course she missed you.” San says, looking at you with a slight smile. “You guys are always all over each other, it's not surprising that _one night_ without each other has you guys stumbling over yourselves..”

You nod at San, silently thanking him for trying to make everything feel like it should.

“I hated sleeping without you last night, wish you had been there to help me out of my costume~” And you say it with a wink, causing Seonghwa to smirk at you.

“I'm happy to hear that.” He says it into your ear as he pulls you to him. The chair making a screeching sound as it's pulled closer to his own. San kind of frowns at the way he basically helped you just lie, but he pays no more mind to it as he continues snickering to Wooyoung. You're also feeling a bit woozy and warm. This feels okay.

Everyone suddenly jumps at the sound of Hongjoong practically screeching in the living room. You turn to look at him just like everyone else and Mingi is just _beaming_ at him.

“Are you being serious? Like for real for real?!” Hongjoong shouts, forgetting where he is. And he doesn't even let Mingi say anything back before he's spouting off again. “I swear to god if this is a prank I'm going to slap the shit out of you!”

“I'm being serious! Well...?”

And Mingi kind of looks nervous now, but you understand the feeling. You've been there.

“Of course I will!” Hongjoong is throwing himself at Mingi, and you can tell they're both a little past tipsy with the pile of empty bottles sitting on the coffee table in front of them.

“Mingi, did you just make things official with Hongjoong? In _my_ living room?!” San questions, jumping up with a clap.

“Three days in and I'm already smitten.” He shrugs back with the smaller man's head stuffed into his neck.

This fucking living room must be some sort of love magnet built in. Only this time you hope the relationship started here ends with happiness and love. You find yourself feeling warm and happy for both of them. Moving quickly seems to not scare them in the slightest, and you kind of envy that. Living as if every day is their last while you're over here dragging on the hurt and pain for as long as you can until it becomes unbearable.

“This is a cause for celebration!” Wooyoung jumps up beside San with his drink. Taking a large gulp and then placing the bottle up to San's lips. You watch them both smiling, not a care in the world. You need to loosen up and _enjoy_ this moment with everyone. You're already half way there, so you down the rest of your drink and call out for another.

During all of the excitement you hadn't even noticed that Yunho isn't anywhere to be found. He must've gotten up and left at some point? You find yourself not worrying about it as much as you would before because you've just downed another drink and Seonghwa has his eyes burning into your skin.

“I feel the sudden urge to pee.” You say blankly, staring at the bottle you just finished.

Seonghwa shrugs at you, flicking his head towards the bathroom as if he is giving you permission to go without him. Quickly you stand up and rush to the bathroom. _You really have to go._

Upon getting to the bathroom, the door is opening before you can even reach for the handle.

“Oh!” You shout in surprise.

“Hi.” Yunho says back to you, smiling as if you weren't just practically sitting on top of Seonghwa.

His eyes flick down the hallway in order to make sure Seonghwa can't see the two of you and the coast is clear. Absolutely _no one_ can see the two of you in the middle of the dark hallway with only the bathroom like illuminating you.

And really, it must be the drinks. Or maybe Yunho's new found confidence isn't going anywhere because the way he smiles down at you as he dips his head to hover his lips over yours nearly has you in the fucking floor. You don't hesitate to kiss him back, even with the feeling of being caught looming over you.

“You taste like you've have more than a few.” Yunho chuckles into you, kissing you again.

“ _Do you have to be drunk to stand being with him now?_ ”

You realize that you've loosened up _a lot_ from the drinking, not feeling disgusted with yourself or even with Seonghwa every time he places his hand on your waist or thigh. You found yourself leaning into him once or twice throughout the night without even thinking about it actually.

You say nothing in response to Yunho's smug words. You just stare up at him knowing he's very aware that he is right.

“How much longer are you going to keep this up for?” He whispers to you again, running his hand down your back and stopping just above your ass. “We both know we've gone too far now to just let it end.”

You look up at him, because _wow._ What's with this attitude? You pull back from him a little and look him in the eye.

“Are you drunk?” You question, kind of smiling at him because he definitely is.

“Mhmm~” He has the roundest cheeks in the world when he smiles at you like this. “And just like you—i have to be drunk to stand you being with him too~”

You wince in response to the pitch of his voice coming out a bit too loud for your liking. You look down the hallway as to make sure no one else heard it before cupping your hands over his mouth and shoving him into the bathroom.

“Shh! You have to be quiet!”

He's just laughing at you, making a surprised face and placing his finger over his mouth to go “ _shhh”_.  
“You have to go back into the living room now! I really need to pee, and we can't be doing this with everyone else in the apartment! “ You're both honestly too tipsy to be in the situation you're in and you think you're both really bad at keeping secrets. It's as if it was written across your forehead in bright red ink.

“Not until you kiss me first.” He makes a kissy face, but then he is stopping you as you lean in to give him what he wants. “A real kiss, y/n.”

Goddammit, how do you say no to that face? How do you say no to kissing the person you've seemed to have loved this _entire_ time? You can't. It's impossible when you're both so incredibly tipsy and in love. Everything outside of this bathroom feels like chaos to you and what you really want is right here in front of you, with his adorably cocky attitude. You find yourself lifting up on your tip toes to wrap your arms around his neck and you stop for just a moment to look at him. His eyes are glossy and hooded, and you really want to make sure he is kissed properly.

He melts into you when you kiss him, and you never want this to end.

  
  


~

  
  


Yunho had left you alone in the bathroom, lips red from kissing longer than you'd anticipated. You quickly did your business and ran back out into the living area. Everything has already shifted. Hongjoong and Mingi were making out like monsters in San's spot on the couch. San and Wooyoung were having a dance off in the kitchen, Yunho was judging. And Seonghwa was just sitting at the kitchen table eating all of the toppings off of the pizza and clearly very concentrated on getting every single bit of cheese off.

“I'm back babyyyyy~!” You sing song to Seonghwa, finding it easy to put on an act.

“What took you so long?!” He laughs into you when you throw yourself on his lap. “I've mutilated San's pizza waiting for you.”

Seonghwa really seems to loosen up when you're all over him. You keep it up because after the little bathroom visit with Yunho-- you know that he knows. He knows you love _him,_ and he knows this little acting bit with Seonghwa wont last. Neither of you know how long this charade will last, but you both know it's sooner rather than later. You have to come clean, and it still hurts to know Yunho is just waiting. You haven't even told him to his face that you're going to leave Seonghwa, but the assumption must be there considering you just had a drunken make out session in the bathroom.

“I was gonna ask if you fell in!” He's joking so lightly with you and smiling like nothing has ever happened. You wonder if you'd end up an alcoholic if you really do keep this up for too long.

“I was just staring at myself in the mirror and wondering what you see in me~” You joke towards him, giving him a quick kiss on the nose.

Seonghwa is laughing with you, holding you tightly in his lap when you kiss his nose. But he very quickly turns the cheeky flirting into something a bit more intense. The moment you kissed him on his nose, he's leaning in to kiss you directly on your mouth. Hands already on your ass, he doesn't hesitate at all in shamelessly kissing you _hard_ for the first time since before the Halloween party.

You wonder if he can taste another man on your lips. The one who kissed you much harder, and much more restlessly in the tiny bathroom you all share. But thankfully the scent of alcohol on your breath doesn't alert him of anything.

Everything feels so much more light in weight compared to just a couple of hours ago. Where everything on your mind felt so _heavy_. You didn't even think you could enjoy yourself with all that's going on. Yet here you are, all over a man you don't love. The one you do love close by-- just waiting for you to end it. Anticipating it. Yunho was right though, maybe you do have to be drunk to enjoy Seonghwa's company right now. It's not that you hate him or never enjoyed being around him. It's just that it's so hard right now to be face to face with him knowing what you've done. But your head feels light and your heart feels fuzzy for Yunho. You find yourself pretending Seonghwa is him as you sit in his lap playfully, kissing him back.

Yunho shoots you a few looks from the kitchen, laughing along with Wooyoung and San with very little tension in his body language. You feel relaxed, even though the look in his eye is pleading that you choose him. You already have. It has to be obvious for him at this point.

It's kind of a thrill really, cheating. You feel guilty and dirty, sure. But right now you're drunk and they're both _so incredibly hot._

  
  


~

  
  


Turns out, it's another movie night. And San got to pick the movie _yet again_. Hands thrown in the air the moment he puts Titanic in for the third time this year. Yunho seated himself on the couch directly next to you and Seonghwa. Or _you_ we should say. Seonghwa stiffened up a little bit but pulled you closer as some sort of power move. It worked when he shot Yunho a glare, not saying a single word but keeping his stern face until he got up and went to his room.

When he got up, you felt him pinch a little at your side, and Seonghwa thankfully didn't notice. You almost wanted to get up and go with him. But you didn't. So it looks like Yunho is skipping the movie night regardless. You're a little sad, but it eases the tension.

You're still pretty tipsy, having your last drink an hour or so ago and switching over to water. Things were getting a bit too touchy with Seonghwa while Yunho was still in the room and you realized you were enjoying it the way you used to. You felt yourself thinking “ _what if I don't tell him and I just stay with him?”_. You know that's not what you really want, and it's definitely not what Yunho wants either.

And it's not like you pushed him away, or rejected his touches. You were genuinely enjoying them. But you realize it really must just be because you're drunk. Hours ago your heart was burning for Yunho and now here it is switching right back over to Seonghwa the moment you have a drink in your belly and his hands on you. You feel messy. You brain is all over the place and your heart is on fire.

_Bzzt._

Oh god, you haven't checked your phone at all since you were outside of Hongjoong's house this morning. You're afraid to check it.

_Bzzt._

_Bzzt._

It's vibrating constantly in your pocket and you wonder if Seonghwa notices over the talking in the movie. He doesn't looked over, or even flinch. You feel thankful that your phones vibration is so dull, because otherwise an entire shit storm would likely take place if you still have the message open to Yunho from this morning.

You never really used your phone much aside from short texts like “Where are you?”, or “I'm on my way.” So you didn't even think about it this whole time, you thought you had your fair share of texts and missed calls this morning anyway.

You nudge at Seonghwa and whisper out to him. “ _I have to pee.”_

“Again?” He simply says to you with a smile.

You have been drinking a lot of water after several bottles of beer. So it's not like you're lying. You nod your head at him, and he gives you a quick kiss before you're heading down the hallway with your phone in your hand.

Yunho is texting you from his bedroom while you're all cuddled up with Seonghwa and you feel a heat in your stomach. Is he still that drunk, or is he just enjoying the thrill of all this? He knows if you get caught things will be _bad._ But you don't think he cares anymore. Having already touched you he feels on top of the world knowing you're at a loss. He knows your confusion means you want him, and probably more than Seonghwa. He knows that when you kissed him so good in the bathroom earlier, you wanted only him.

“ _wish you could come to my room with me.”_

That smug asshole is really texting you that, _right now?_ Oh god, you love him. You wish you were in his room with him too.

“ _can you text while next to him or is it too risky?”_

Ahh, at least he is acting like he should be cautious, but that doesn't stop you from choking at the next message he sent. A picture.

His face isn't in it, but you can see the outline of his dick. With his hand lightly wrapped around the fabric, making a _beautiful_ impression against the fabric of his pants. And you could _cry._ It's not like you haven't seen his hard on before under his sweats, especially in the mornings. But they were never for you, just the typical morning wood that you and San would tease him for mercilessly. This one is for you though. You can't stop yourself from texting him back.

“ _wish I could help you with that...”_

Instantly you get a text back, like he's been staring at his phone nervously after sending you the photo.

“ _:( can you?”_

You have to force yourself to stop, because honestly you're about three seconds from running out of this bathroom and directly into his room.

“ _fuck, yunho.”_ You breathe in before typing out another text. “ _im hiding in the bathroom just to text you back, how am I supposed to go back out there now?”_

Another instant message back.

“ _I'll be thinking of what happened last night then. Of you.”_ You can see that he is typing another message so you wait. “ _text me back if you can.”_

You want to cry, you don't want to go back to sitting next to Seonghwa.

“ _be patient with me. I miss you.”_

After washing your hands, and Yunho having not sent anymore messages, you quickly save his photo. Everything is about to get fucked up anyway, might as well have his dick saved in your camera roll right?

And as you're leaving the bathroom you see that Yunho is standing right outside of his cracked bedroom door, beckoning you over. And you really _can't_ be doing this. But you do anyway.

“I miss you too.” He whispers. Not even sexually even though you can still see that he's incredibly hard.

You couldn't do much other than blush when he kisses your forehead and pushes you away so you can go back to the living room. God, this is a nightmare.

  
  


~

  
  


Yunho knows you're in the living room with someone you don't want to be with. So what's wrong with texting you? What's wrong with sending photos of what _you're doing_ to him? He knows you wouldn't let Seonghwa see the messages, considering you haven't came clean yet.

He's kind of glad you haven't though. He feels strange with the feelings he's having. A kind of thrill getting to have the _one girl_ that was supposed to be off limits. The _only_ girl he's ever even wanted. Sure he's fucked around a little bit, but nothing at all compared to what you two had. And it felt so good to know that what Seonghwa has been rubbing in his face, was beneath him in the bed he slept in. God it felt so good to him. He doesn't even care about the charade you're putting on. He doesn't _care_ that you were all over Seonghwa because he knew that no one could love you the way he does. Not one person on this planet would be able to _make love_ to you besides him. And he know you felt it.

After about an hour since he saw you in the hallway, he wasn't shocked to hear nothing more. He knows you probably turned off your phone just to make sure Seonghwa doesn't catch on. He doesn't bother texting you this time, knowing full well it's dangerous right now. But goddamn he wants to be cocky. He feels like he's on top of the world, riding the high of being with you. And he doesn't seem to be coming down anytime soon.

Suddenly he hears you and Seonghwa through the wall again, and his heart kind of drops. Not even hearing the door open or close, it's like you're both instantly on top of each other like a couple of high school kids losing their virginity. He knew you were putting on a charade, but you're really just going to so easily _fuck_ him again? Knowing that he can hear you?

He tries to stay calm, feeling himself slip back into what the routine used to be. Only this time, hearing you felt so real. Because he knew what it felt like. And the sounds you're currently making is nothing at all like what you sounded like for him.

Seonghwa is holding the one person he has ever wanted, _again._ He's fucking into her, and touching her, and making her moan. He feels angry. Without even thinking, he's pounding on his wall to try and shut the two of you up. Because it feels so _wrong._ Knowing you don't even want to be with Seonghwa anymore. He wonders if you're even enjoying yourself with him. But then he hears you moan louder almost directly after his knocks resonated through the wall.

He can't even tell if it was on purpose. So he sinks into his pile of blankets and just listens. Feeling completely shattered that everything he thought, may be wrong.

  
  


~

  
  


The moment Seonghwa got you into your room, he was immediately on you. Barely even getting your top off before he was wedging his thigh between your legs and pushing you back on the bed. Everything was happening so fast, and you didn't know how to stop it, or even know if you wanted him to stop. It felt _good_. You can't help but moan out at how fast and desperate he was to snake his hand down _his_ sweats that you were wearing.

“ _You will never spend another night without me in this bed again._ ”

You don't respond, your face feels so hot, and his fingers are desperately rubbing against you causing a heavy moan to come out instead of words.

You can feel his hair tickling your cheek as he looks down at you, eyes _burning_. You wonder if he's trying to make his mark again, even though the marks he left before haven't faded one bit. He's acting like he will never be able to touch you again after this, and you wonder if it's true.

“ _Tell me you love me.”_ He whispers, stopping his hand for a moment and looking at you.

“I love you.” You manage to squeak out. And you don't even know how you said it. Everything is so overwhelming right now.

Before you knew it, because Seonghwa was doing everything so desperately fast, you can feel your sweats being pulled down. You realize you're wet when he hums at the feeling of it on the head of his dick. And honestly you didn't even realize he had pulled it out.

“I missed you.” Seonghwa breathes out. “I've been wanting you since I saw you in your costume last night.”

“I need you right now.”

The way he says it sends a tingle straight to your groin. He isn't even shying away from the fact that he so desperately wants to be inside you again. He doesn't want to waste _any_ time. And you feel guilty, because he was all over you before the party. And then suddenly you were all over Yunho and the entire world flipped upside down. You sigh out softly, whining almost.

_BANG. BANG. BANG._

Yunho was banging on his wall, and you hadn't even thought about the fact that he can hear all of this. Seonghwa's hands are all over you, yet he's barely kissed you since the two of you got behind your locked bedroom door.

You see him glance up at the wall where the sound of a frustrated Yunho seeped through, and he fucking smirks. With no warning pressing into you so hard that you hit your head on the headboard. Causing you to moan out louder than you had intended to. And he doesn't stop. It felt so _good_ you didn't really even want him to _._ But it also felt so incredibly empty. It felt like Seonghwa was getting more of a thrill out of Yunho hearing it, than having the person he's supposed to love beneath him.

He was gripping your waist so tightly, thrusting quickly into you. You could barely breathe, feeling the heat in your stomach pool up. Your muscles begin to tense up and suddenly you're on the brink of cumming. And god it couldn't have been more than ten minutes since the two of you stumbled into your room, and you're _already_ about to cum without any stimulation at all on your clit.

Goddammit your body wants this so much but. . This is so wrong.

“Seonghwa..” You manage to moan out, and he's so out of breath he barely hears you.

You close your legs on him, pushing him out of you. You can feel the heat in your abdomen melt away as he looks down at you. And his lips look so kissable, his face looks beautiful. He is yours if you want him. You start to cry, you can't do this anymore.

Taking one last look at the man you truly thought you loved. You will never experience this again, you will never feel his lips on you, or his hand in yours. And you feel so sad that you're doing this right now of all the times you had tonight, or even tomorrow. You're terrified of what's going to happen.

You really wanted to have him, and let him have you tonight. But-- Yunho is in the other room and it's time to stop. It feels so wrong to want this. It feels dirty, and empty, and you can't let yourself lead anyone else on. You breathe in, eyes tearing up as you feel his hand on your cheek.

“Are you--” He sits up, cupping your face in both of his hands.”Are you okay? Did I hurt you?” And he doesn't even let you speak. “I'm sorry, I got so carried away I just really wa--”

“Seonghwa..” You say again, voice cracking. And before he could even respond, you push yourself to just. . .

“I slept with Yunho.”

His hands fall from your face, and you see his concern dissolve into a face you can't read. He's not yours anymore and you hate yourself.

“You--” He stutters, swallowing hard. “You what?”

“Last night-- I..”

And the way he is looking at you hurts so bad. But you can't look away from him, it's not fair to him if you don't look him in the eye right now. None of this is fair to him, and you know that the likelihood of seeing him smile for you is gone forever now. You try to reach out to him, a desperate attempt to comfort a heart you've just shattered.

“I--” You can barely speak. Your mind has gone blank, but he cuts you off anyway. His voice sharp and insulting.

“He _fucked_ you?” And he whispers it so maliciously at you, you can't help but start to cry even more. “He took advantage of you while you were drunk?”

You can feel him shift the blame, come up with any excuse as to why you'd ever cheat on him. But he's wrong. You wanted it. And you still want it, and everything fucking hurts.

“No!” You practically shout, having no volume control while you're crying. “He was just bringing me water. He wasn't going to do anything!”

“So what are you saying, Y/n?” His eyes are wide as he looks at you. He looks so threatening you want nothing more than to be outside of this room and away from _everyone_ in this fucking apartment. You're tearing apart the family you've all created.

“I--I don't want to be with you anymore.” He just stares at you. Shaking his head back and forth, you can see his hands tremble as he stands up and throws _his clothes_ at you.

“I didn't realize I was with--” And he motions towards you with such malice in his body language. “someone like _that_.”

You knew it was coming. You knew someone would say it but you didn't think it would be him for some reason.

“Someone like _what,_ Seonghwa?!” You try to wipe your tears away but you still can't control your volume. Throwing the shirt over your head and quickly pulling the sweats back on, you question again. You don't even _care_ if the whole apartment building is listening. “A _slut_? Is that what you're wanting to say?!”

He just shrugs at you, raising his brow.

“You fucked our roomate, Y/n. What the fuck else am I supposed to call you after that?”

You suddenly feel so angry.

“Seonghwa, did you ever even love me? Or did you just love the fact that you _owned_ me?” You pause to breathe, looking directly at him.

“Are you not going to ask me _why_ I liked it so much?!”

“What the _fuck_ is that supposed to mean?” He spits back at you, pacing back and forth across your bedroom as if he doesn't know what to do with himself.

“What does it matter if I loved you? We committed to each other!” He shouts. “You looked me in the eye and lied to me about what happened ,Y/n!”

He suddenly stops in his tracks, and leans down in front of you. You can feel his hot breath in your face as he looks directly through you with absolute rage in his eyes.

“You have _no right_ asking me any questions.”

Without thinking, you feel so smothered. You shove him away from you hard and he stumbles back. There was a loud thump, his body causing the closet door to slam closed. He looks at you in shock, unsure of what to do in this situation. You'd never laid your hands on anyone, but it happened so fast and you felt so smothered all you can do is look back at him.

You suddenly hear Yunho's door slam against the wall and a harsh knock on your bedroom door, the doorknob wiggling. You know it's locked, and you want nothing more than to just jump out the window. Neither of you open the door for the man on the other side who just heard every single thing through the walls.

Seonghwa simply sighs at you, shaking his head. He doesn't move from his spot across the room, and you wonder if he's bruised his back by hitting the door knob.

“No.” He shakes his head. “You don't get to be angry. You don't get to be the victim here.”

You can hear Yunho shout through the door, knocking loudly. And shortly after you can hear everyone outside of your door.

And without a word, your mind is fuzzy and you walk straight past him. You can hear him say your name, and you can feel him reach out for you but you ignore it. You unlock the door, shove past the pile of roommates and neighbors, and walk out of the apartment feeling so sick to your stomach.

You just want to run away from this.

  
  


~

  
  


Yunho heard all of it. Lying there in shock when he heard you tell Seonghwa that he slept with you. His heart dropped, not knowing what to do. It was _really_ happening. You really loved him, you stopped in the middle of sex with Seonghwa to admit that you didn't want to be with him. He can't help but feel a little bit over the moon that the charade is over with. But then he hears you crying.

He can hear Seonghwa talking to you so harshly, practically calling you a slut. And his heart is hurting at the mere thought of you being belittled. He's not going to have it. And sure, he was about to get out of his bed-- but things suddenly got quiet and then he hears a loud _thump._

Without a second thought he was flinging himself out of his bedroom and to your door. The only thing on his mind is wondering if Seonghwa hit you. He didn't seem like the type to get physical but he sure as fuck was close at the Halloween party.

“Y/N!” Is all Yunho can manage to yell out when he's at your door. It's locked and he's freaking the fuck out because he doesn't _know_ what's going on on the other side of this door. He can _hear_ it, but that's not good enough! It's been quiet since the loud thump and every single horrible thought is running through his head.

“Seonghwa open the fucking door!” Yunho shouts again, throwing the weight of his body into the door.

A unison of “Oh shit” comes from everyone else in the apartment, still in the living room playing board games. Within a second they're outside of the door with Yunho. Trying to make sense of the situation.

San pushes past everyone and gets up beside Yunho. Trying to calm him down.

“Yunho! Calm down!”

“You didn't just fucking hear that?!” He shouts back, practically in San's face.

He hadn't heard a thing over the loud and lively talking with the others, but Yunho's face is serious and now San himself is suddenly worried.

“What's going on?” Hongjoong says meekly from behind Mingi. They're not really wanting to see a fight break out, but with the way Yunho is so desperately trying to get into the room-- it looks like they might have to.

“Yunho! _What_ did you hear?!”

He just looks directly at San and breathe in through his nose.

“She told him.”

San's eyes widen, and he looks back at Wooyoung.

“She told him what?” Hongjoong asks, just as worried as everyone else because it's honestly just in the air at this point.

And before anyone could say anything else, the door is swinging open and you're walking directly past them. Ignoring their words, not truly even being able to hear them with your ears hot and ringing so loudly. Yunho just watches as you turn the corner from the hallway and he hears the front door slam shut. He turns back and takes a step into the room to look at Seonghwa, who was just standing there glaring back at him.

San watches and tries to tug at Yunho's shirt to pull him back out of the room, but he wasn't budging.

“What did you do to her?” Yunho says it with a bite in his voice, and Seonghwa weakly smiles at him, defeated.

“I should be asking _you_ that, shouldn't I?”

They stare at each other a moment longer before Yunho turns on his heel, and is leaving the apartment after you.

San and the other's are just standing in shock. Hongjoong still completely confused. Mingi simply takes him by the hand and softly pushes him back. “We should go.”

“Don't go?” San demands, but it seems more like a question. He flicks his head to Seonghwa who was still just standing in your room, and they can see him tremble.

“Seongh-” He cuts San off instantly.

“Did you know?”

“Did all of you know?!”

Mingi decides to stay after that, because clearly this is something he can't just walk away from. And poor Hongjoong just doesn't fucking understand what happened. Mingi himself is a bit confused as well because he could have sworn less than an hour ago Seonghwa had his hands all over you before heading off to your room together.

“Seonghwa, we are all trying to process what the fuck is happening right now--” San says back sternly. His only way of saving himself right now.

“Can you calm down please? And come into the living room?” San motions towards the hallway but Seonghwa shakes his head.

“I'd honestly prefer if you'd all just fuck off.”

“Don't be like that! At least tell me what's going on. We're all kind of freaked out--” San retorts. Knowing full well what's going on.

Seonghwa doesn't know what to do with himself. He's so angry, still trembling. He can feel wet heat behind his eyes, but he holds it in.

“Yunho fucked her.” He winces when he says it, one eye closing as he's instantly throwing a hand up to wipe away the tears threatening to fall. “She wanted it.”

Hongjoong seems to feel what everyone else is feeling, but for some reason he is just so incredibly dense when it comes to relationships. He _knew_ you were in the apartment with Yunho last night, but still managed to truly believe nothing happened. Speaking over San towards Seonghwa. “But she said nothing happened! She would never cheat on you!”

San kind of snaps his neck back to look at Hongjoong and he's instantly shutting up. Mingi puts an arm around him and point towards the living room. San nods. Clearly Hongjoong needs to process this, because Mingi kind of had the itching feeling that this is what was going on the moment Yunho left after you.

“So if you could all just fuck off for a bit. I need to um-- I need to get my shit out of this room.”

San doesn't argue, he honestly can't at this point. That's his friend, and he seems absolutely heartbroken over this. But he's never been one to be comforted. He's tried before and only got shut out. So he pulls Wooyoung with him and leaves Seonghwa alone in your room.

  
  


~

  
  


Being alone in your room, Seonghwa has never felt this betrayed. He doesn't know what else he's feeling right now as he just kind of sinks to the floor. He wonders what he did to make you think he never loved you. He wonders what it is that Yunho did that made so quickly leave him like this. He feels angry, empty, heartbroken, and just. . _Sad._

He didn't get to ask you how long it's been going on for, but he somehow knows it only happened last night. He finds himself believing that you'd never cheated on him before, because most nights he was in your room with you. Even though you lied directly to his face for the past day and a half, he desperately wants to know why he wasn't good enough.

Looking around your room, he realizes you left without a jacket and he wants to bring you one. He wants you to know he cares so badly. And he realizes he shouldn't have gotten in your face, he probably deserved being shoved away.

And yeah, maybe he was deserving of Yunho's glares, because he has known for ages how much Yunho had felt for you. That's the _only_ reason why the line that shouldn't be crossed was created.

Did. . . did he accidentally set this whole process of cheating up? Unknowingly inviting Yunho to a challenge of who can be better for you? Fuck.

 _Maybe I'm the selfish one._ Seonghwa thinks, running his hands through his hair.

After a few moments, Seonghwa wipes his tears and tries to pull himself up to at least attempt to get his things out of your room. He sighs to himself noticing your phone. Always so forgetful. And he doesn't hesitate to break his own heart when he unlocks it and immediately goes to your texts from Yunho.

He just stands there, reading. Checking the times, and realizing it really did happen. All of it last night. While he was so desperate to get in contact with you, Yunho had his hands on you. His lips on you. And all throughout today, Yunho had been texting you _while_ you were with him, sending you photos of his dick, asking you to come to his room.

His stomach is in knots as he throws your phone across the room.

“ _It's okay that she left. . But she didn't have to make it hurt so bad. “_ And he says it out loud to himself as he kind of curls up in your floor for a few moments. He feels so utterly pathetic.

San eventually makes his way back to your room after a while of silence. Seonghwa had fallen asleep on your floor, a pile of his stuff gripped in his hands. And it would look so incredibly childish if it weren't for the fact that he has barely slept in two days.

“Hey..” San coos out, patting Seonghwa on the shoulder. He grabs his things out of his arms and nudges him.

“Come to the living room for a bit, you've gotta get out of this room.”

Seonghwa doesn't say anything, he just nods as he realizes where he is again.

~

  
  


It's so cold out, and your heart is hurting. You don't know how far you've walked but you just keep going. You just want to run away. You did this, you caused so may people to hurt and you couldn't stop it. You feel so weak as you cross the street, seeing people through the windows of late night restaurants having a good time. You take a moment to look. Wondering what's going on in their life, and if they can tell you just fucked yours up.

You feel so small in this big world. And you're just wandering around with tear stained cheeks not knowing where to go to feel safe. Do you even deserve to feel warmth right now? Do you deserve to feel safe after shattering the trust of someone so horribly?

“Y/N!”

You can hear your name being called by a familiar voice, and it sounds too far away to find. But you know it's Yunho. You don't know if you can face him right now. So you keep walking, pretending you didn't hear him. But shortly after, you can hear his footsteps running up behind you. You can feel his arms wrap around you and stop you in your tracks. He's just as cold as you are.

“Yunho..” You choke out. “I--”

“It's okay. Calm down.” He says, spinning you around and hugging you tightly. “You must be so cold.” All you can do is nod into his chest. Even with him being just as cold as you are, you can still feel your heart warming up slightly with him holding you so tightly.

“Are you okay?” He asks, still holding you. You nod again, knowing that if you say anything your voice will croak and the tears will start again.

“Listen. . . “ He pulls back a little bit and tries to look at you, but you look down.

“Y/n, look at me.” And the way he gently pulls your face up to look at him makes you feel so embarrassed. You don't want him to see you like this.

“Do you want to go somewhere?”

Your eyes shoot up to him. He's trying to save you right now. He doesn't care you if you feel embarrassed, he doesn't care that you look this way, all he wants is to make you feel safe.

“Yes. . .” Is all you manage to muster out before you feel his arms fall away from you. He's patting at his pockets, and then looking at you again.

“I— _shit.”_ He looks at you. “I don't have my wallet. Do you-- want to come back with me?”

You vigorously shake your head. You do _not_ want to go back into that fucking apartment right now. As much as you'd love to see San and apologize for putting him in this position, you _cannot_ face Seonghwa right now. Not after that.

“I-it's okay! You don't have to! Um..” Yunho is practically stumbling over his words at this point.

“Can I just--” You stutter, looking back at the ground. “wait here at the restaurant?”

He's instantly nodding and throwing his arms around you again. He's thankful there are so many twenty four hour restaurants in this area.

“Please don't leave. I'll be right back okay?”

And with that, he's turning on his heels and practically running back to the apartment. You still don't know how far you've walked. Maybe only a mile or two, and you feel bad that he came all the way out here just to have to go right back. You feel bad that he has to walk back into that apartment and face them alone. And you wonder If he didn't kiss you because he knows that right now-- it's too much.

You're not ready to just throw yourself at him now that it's over between you and Seonghwa. But he's going to be here with you regardless of how long it takes for you to want to feel lips on you again. This is so hard. You find yourself hating your very existence as you sit down quietly at a booth in the corner of the restaurant.

Your phone isn't with you, you're alone, and you look like you've just died. And part of you kind of did. You can't bare to look up from the table, instead just patiently waiting and trying not to start crying again.

“Can I get you anything?” You hear a voice that—for some reason sounds familiar. You look and see the same man who delivered pizza to your apartment earlier. You hadn't even realized that this restaurant was a pizza place.

“Aren't you--?” You try to say, but your voice is so cracked you sound like death warmed over.

“Well, if we keep meeting like this, I might just have to give you my name!” The man laughs out at you with a wink, knowing something must have happened to have you so down.

You find yourself smiling a bit at the cheeky attitude, lightening the mood and keeping you away from your thoughts even for a moment was much appreciated.

“I'm Y/n.” You crack out, and he tilts his head down at you.

“I'm Jongho. And I'm not sure what's going on but it looks like you're having a bad night.” You simply nod at him, shrugging a bit.

“Well, order whatever you want. It's on the house.” You look up at him in awe. “It's only because you look so cold, sitting there shivering and shit.”

Another server walks by him and bumps his shoulder. “ _Language.”_ He just looks at you and shrugs with a smile. “I have a lunch break coming up, do you need the company?”

You find yourself nodding, desperate for any kind of distraction, and this man seems so goddamn friendly, you know you don't deserve the pity.

“Sit tight.” Is all he says before he's disappearing through the doors to the kitchen. You're crying already again. And honestly when the fuck did you get so sensitive? You've been crying so much for the past day and you're sick of it. And sick of yourself.

Wondering how long Yunho will be, you're thankful that you don't have to sit and stare at this table alone until he gets here. Jongho was quick to come back with an entire pizza and a cup of warm water for you.

“It's not like-- tea or coffee or anything.” He shrugs, and grabs a slice of pizza.” We _are_ a shitty pizza place, so we don't really have anything hot to drink.” And before you can even thank him, he's pushing a plate of pizza in front of you.

“Eat. You look like you're going to throw up.”

Part of you thinks this guy would fit in perfectly with the family you'd just torn to shreds. So lighthearted. A complete stranger noticing how fucked up you are right now and offering his lunch break and food to you just to try and help.

“Why are you being so nice?”

He shrugs at you again, cheeks puffed out from the pizza in his mouth. He doesn't even bother to cover it with his hands when he speaks out to you.

“I see someone sad, I want to make them not sad?” He takes a drink of his own cup of water. “Is that so weird to you?”

You shake your head at him. Wondering how on earth there is someone so nice in this world. If he knew what you'd just done, would be be doing this for you?

“Hey! Eat!” Without hesitation you take the pizza and eat it. It's so strange. Someone entering your life as one is slamming the door as he leaves. You still feel thankful.

“Thank you for this..” You whisper out between bites. And he just smiles back at you.

“Listen, it's not a problem. Do you wanna talk about what's going on or--?”

You shake your head at him and he doesn't even flinch or try to push. God you're so thankful.

“Do you have anywhere to go?” He asks you again, a slight look of worry in his eye.

“My um--” You nearly said it. “ _boyfriend”._

“My friend is going to be here soon to get me.”

“Ah~ Cool. Cool. Well tell her to hurry up, I don't mind sharing.” He pauses and motions towards the entire pizza. “ Or, I mean I can finish this whole thing on my own.”

“ _He_ should be here soon. I don't know if he will want any but thank you.” You respond easily and putting emphasis on the fact that your “friend” is a “he.”. You're kind of thankful that your voice is able to come out at almost a regular tone without cracking this time though.

“Well, he's still more than welcome.” And as he says it, you hear the bell ring out alerting the workers that someone entered the shop. You turn around to look and there he is. How did he even manage to get here so fast? It's only been an hour.

Yunho had texted San and asked him to have his things ready at the door for him, and he didn't hesitate to do it for him. San knew that if Seonghwa saw him right now-- it would be even worse. And he looked so out of breath when he stepped into the apartment only to grab his things before instantly disappearing.

And now he's walking towards you in this tiny lively pizza parlor, a second jacket in hand as his breath struggles to even out. His cheeks and nose are red and he just looks at you in confusion, because you're sitting there with food and no money. He doesn't think twice about the man in front of you though, because before he can even _think_ about it Jongho is hopping up and grabbing the jacket out of his hands, and helping him with his bag.

“I assume you're the friend she's waiting for?” He says in a bright voice, throwing the jacket over you and extending his hand for a handshake.

“Um. . Yeah.” Yunho says, looking at you as he shakes the man's hand.

“I'll get straight to the point. She looked sad, so I'm sharing my lunch. You should help us eat it.”

“N—no thanks.” Yunho politely declines, feeling sick to his stomach from running back and forth. “Can I have something warm to drink though?”

“Hope you like water. Because that's all I got for you buddy.”

Yunho was thankful for the warm water, sitting as close to you as possible, trying his best to warm up with you. You really feel thankful that you stopped at this place, it's helped calm your mind to such an extent you don't even feel like you're on the verge of tears anymore.

“So—Jongho..” Yunho says, watching you as you finish the slice of pizza given to you.

“Do you happen to know where the closest hotel is?”

Jongho raises a brow and sits down his cup.

“What's wrong with the place you guys were at when I delivered a shit ton of pizza earlier?”

“Don't.” Yunho mouths, shaking his head.

“Ah! Yeah, there's one like five miles from here. It's not really cheap though. . .”

You look up at Yunho, wondering if he should really be spending that kind of money just to get you away from everything. You shake your head at him. “It's okay, we-” He cuts you off.

“Cool, cool.” He nods, pulling out his phone and checking his bank account. “How expensive?”

Jongho eyes him. “Couple hundred a night I guess?”

“ _Shit.”_

“There's a cheaper one further away though. Do you like-- need a ride?”

Yunho shamefully accepts the help from Jongho, feeling helpless that he needs help from a stranger to help _you._ He's so used to calling an uber, or taking the train. But if he's trying to get a hotel room he can't really be spending money for an uber. Trains don't even run this late either.

“Well, I don't get off until five thirty. I'm not really sure if you guys want to wait that long. But I can manage a few more good deeds.” And honestly this guy is so eager to help, you don't understand.

“I'll get you an uber, but only because that guy with you earlier tipped me like-- over twenty five percent.” He pauses. “ But first put your numbers in my phone-- y'know. In case I need help someday too.”

Neither of you protest, putting your numbers in his phone, watching how proud he was of himself. And he really did call an uber for the both of you. You felt sad having to tell him goodbye.

“He was a really big help. . .” Yunho says to you as you both get into the uber.

“I like him. We should keep him.” He adds as he throws his arm around you.

You feel so thankful for Yunho. You feel so thank for Jongho. For San. For everyone who is at least understanding that you're hurting too.

  
  


~

  
  


The hotel was small, cheap, and mostly isolated. Yunho was quick to explain why he got the room with only one bed. “ _It's cheaper..”_ You didn't mind though, you felt safe knowing that he is being so gentle with the situation. Not pushing you, just being _there for you_. Because that's what best friends do.

Everything feels melancholy. You're numb, and Yunho can sense it. He puts his bag down on the bed and immediately unpacks it for you. He grabbed your clothes, so you could get out of Seonghwa's. He brought your phone, and a few more changes of clothes because San just kind of scrambled to grab what he could before Seonghwa questioned him.

“Thank you. . .” is all you could muster out before you were immediately heading to the bathroom.

“Do you want to take a bath?” Yunho asks in a small voice. Jumping up and racing to the bathroom before you could get to it. You simply nod at him, and he's immediately running the water for you.

“You don't have to do anything. Just tell me what I can do for you, okay?”

The numbness you feel falters at him, at his voice and gentle demeanor. You realize if you hadn't told Seonghwa what happened, you'd be in your warm bed with him at home. Yunho wouldn't have spent money on a hotel room, and he would be sitting alone in his room wondering what was going to happen between the two of you.

You find it easy to accept that it's over between you and Seonghwa. But you're not sure if you should really just be jumping into the deep end with Yunho. All of this was _for_ him. You feel kind of bad just letting it linger. Letting him wonder more and more about what happens next.

  
  


“Yunho--” You come up behind him and hug him tightly as he tries to adjust the bath temperature for you.

“I love you.”

He turns his head and nuzzles into your arm that's around his neck. You can see his chest breathe in a sigh before releasing.

“You don't have to say that, Y/n. Don't push yourself. . .”

“No, I want to say it.” You retort, trying to make sure he's aware that you don't feel pushed to do this. “This whole time I think I loved you. I was so bothered by the way you'd distanced yourself from me after me and--”

He shushes you, and pulls your arms off of him. Standing up, he turns towards you and tugs at your shirt.

“I'm sorry I let this happened to you.” He states simply, lifting your shirt off of you. “I'm sorry I was selfish and took advantage of your feelings.”

You shake your head at him, allowing him to gently undress you. His cold hands touching your skin makes you feel loved.

“Don't apologize to me for that--” You look up at him. His eyes are only focused on your face, not straying even for a moment to the naked skin you're revealing.

“I just want to be here with you right now.”

Yunho nods at you, throwing Seonghwa's clothes in a pile on the floor. Soon to be forgotten by both of you. He holds you steady as you get into the bathtub, and sits on the side of it as you sink into the water.

“Is the temperature okay?” He questions, running his fingers across the water.

You hum in response, and let yourself sink a little lower into it all. Covering your ears with the water and hearing nothing but heavy pressure against them. You feel so close to disappearing right now, but when you open your eyes Yunho is still there sitting on the tub. His sleeves rolled up to his shoulders, and his cheeks still slightly red. You can't look away from him. This moment feels so intimate, and you wonder if it's always felt this was with him.

Knowing him as a best friend felt completely different after feelings have been admitted. After his hands have been on the most sensitive parts of your body. You find it hard to look at him as anything less than someone you'd spend your life with. You wonder if he really loves you too.

Pulling yourself up a little, you wipe the dripping water off of your face.

“Yunho, do you really love me?” You question, and he just looks at you.”Do you want to be with me?” He smiles at you in response, and turns his body a bit more to look at you.

“Don't ask stupid questions like that, Y/n.” He throws his hands up and motions towards the small bathroom. “Would I be here with you if I didn't?”

“Oh.”

His face falls a little bit from the smile he had forming. Slight panic in his eyes as he thinks he's just upset you.

“Y/n. A lot happened in the past two days, and I think--” He swallows hard and looks away from you. “I think that my love for you should be the last thing you should be worried about. I'm not going anywhere. Ever.”

You lift your hand up to hold onto his shirt, watching the water from your fingertips soak into the fabric.

“But do you still want to be with me?”

He was so gentle. Looking so drained, and sleepy as the fluorescent lights of the bathroom shined down on him. You don't think he could ever look bad.

“I do. But only when you feel ready to be with me.” He answers you with such a sureness in his voice that you don't feel the need to question it anymore.

  
  


~

Maybe you're just exhausted. But you feel so empty lying next to Yunho in this bed. The warmth from before drained out of both of you. It feels like there is a wall between the two of you. He's being too careful, not holding you in bed. He's at least a foot away and turned away from you. You know it's because he doesn't want to cross anymore set lines.

You can feel him moving around, not able to get comfortable. And you both have been lying here for at least an hour or two without saying a word. Neither of you can fall sleep right now. And your mind is _only_ thinking of when he will roll over and face you. But it hasn't happened yet. You really don't want him to hold back. So you make the first move, extending your arm out and grabbing his shirt.

And it was like on instinct, the moment you touched him he's immediately rolling and facing you. Not even stuttering when he speaks out to you.

“You're so close to me right now and I can't fucking sleep because you still feel so far away.”

“Can I kiss you?”

You lean in immediately, relief washing over you knowing you both felt the tenseness between the two of you. Not knowing where you stood, but fully aware that the love is there. Connecting your lips to his, he places his arm around your waist from under the blankets and pulls you close to him in one swift motion.

“Is this okay? Are you okay?” He questions when he pulls back, but you don't respond. You just lean into him for more. He doesn't argue.

Honestly, he's kissing you like you've never been kissed before. Even from the night before, and in the bathroom. It feels like now he's holding nothing back. Pouring himself into you so lazily as he holds you tightly around the waist.

The kisses are slow. Messy and breathy in all of it's glory, but you feel like he's still not allowing himself to do anything more than kiss you right now. And that's okay. You wonder how he would feel if you felt comfortable enough to push a bit more.

If you're being completely honest, all you can think about right now is Yunho taking you for himself. All you want is his hands tracing your body, and the feeling of being so completely filled up by him. You want all of it, without the weight of betrayal on your minds.

“Yunho—can I?”

He doesn't even know what you're asking but he immediately nods his head. So you awkwardly roll on top of him with question in your eyes.

“This is okay?” You whisper so quietly, thinking the whole world is listening.

Yunho winces when you get on top of him, feeling you straddle him and seeing the shy look in your eyes makes him want to cry. You want him, even after it all, you _chose him_.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” He questions right back at you, fully prepared to just cuddle up with you throughout the night if that's all you needed. He doesn't want you to feel like you have to do this for him. But you nod to him, lowering yourself a bit to kiss him. And he's so amazed at how beautiful you look on top of him, he can't help but twitch in his pants when he feels your body shift on him.

He's doesn't move beneath you, afraid that even the smallest movement will shatter you to pieces. But you can feel him press against you, and he is becoming breathless as he kisses you. One hand in your hair and the other holding your hips in place on top of him. Every now and then he catches himself guiding your hips a bit to move-- but he stops. So you do it for him.

You can feel it. The love. You really feel it with the way he is hesitating. When just a few hours ago Seonghwa was so angrily trying to take you for himself. You feel cared for when Yunho grips a tiny bit at your hair to keep your lips firmly placed on his own. You feel like he really loves you, like he's afraid that if he makes one wrong move you will disappear and all of this had just been a fever dream on another lonely night.

“You can touch me, Yunho.” You breathe out between kisses. But he doesn't respond. He stays exactly how he's been. And part of you wonders if maybe he's the one not ready for this.

“Are--” You pull back to look at him. “Do you want this?”

He looks up at you with hooded eyes and swollen kissed lips. A small smile lingering.

“Yeah..” He breathes out, sighing as he pulls you right back down to him. “I just want it to last.”

And for a long while the two of you stayed like that, kissing into each other like your life depended on it. Your hips would buckle on him just a _little_ bit. Because you wanted to feel him breathe in at the tension. You wanted to feel his hands grip at you to hold you still. It felt liberating to be wanted so bad, and to watch him hold himself back for the sake of never wanting it to end. You want to give him the world right now.

Kissing him in itself was foreplay enough. Both of you so desperate to feel skin, but still fully clothed and grinding away. You feel heat in your stomach as you lower your hands and slightly lift his shirt, running your hand across his stomach. He's so warm right now, his skin so smooth and calling out to be touched.

“Can you take this off?” You ask, looking at him. And quickly he lifts up and removes his shirt. You fix his hair a bit before he lies back again, placing his hands on your waist and looking up at you for approval.

“You look so--” You lean down to kiss his shoulder. “good.”

That's all it really took. Almost like a switch went off in his head that it's _okay_ to do this.

Yunho was already trying to work your clothes away now, laughing as you struggle to get your pants off. You didn't want to get off of him, but unfortunately the pants were really restricting what you both needed so badly. After a moment or two, Yunho pushes you away from him, with your back bouncing gently on the bed and your head nearly hanging off the end. He pulls at your pants, and you can feel his warm hands run down your exposed thighs before immediately pulling your panties off as well.

“You're so beautiful, you know that?” And he says it with such confidence you almost believe him.

You can feel his hands bracing the inside of your thighs, gently pushing them further apart before he leans down into you. You barely had a moment to comprehend what he was doing before you felt his tongue lazily trace your folds. He was so eager to get between your legs, but the way he is moving his mouth proves that he isn't eager at all to get it over with.

Letting out a breathless sigh, you feel him snake his hand up your body in search of your own. And when you reached down for him, he places your hand on the back of his head as he continues to taste you carefully.

It's so soft the way he uses his mouth on you, he isn't moving quickly. But you can feel the eagerness in the way his head moves beneath your hand. You grip at his hair, gently pressing him into you just a _little bit_ more. He hums in response, and you can feel his tongue trace circles around your clit. You gently moan out to him, not wanting him to stop. And he appreciates the praises, he basks in them. Keeping his rhythm as he brings his fingers up to tease at your entrance.

You find yourself buckling up towards him, desperate to feel his fingers. But you calm yourself. You want this to last too, and you don't want to push him to go faster. You want him to do what _he wants_ to you. You want to feel the way he wants to love you.

And Yunho is so over the moon right now, knowing that if he can help it-- no one else will ever be able to touch you like this again. No one but him. If he loves you the right way, and makes you feel safe, he knows you wont leave him. He will do everything in his power to keep you happy. And he thinks of only you when he places two fingers inside of you, opening his eyes just to see your chest heave at the feeling. He likes the feeling of your hand guiding his mouth where it feels best, he likes the feeling of your legs shaking around his head every now and then. He likes pleasuring _you_.

But you know he must be suffering with no friction on himself. You can feel the way he moans on you every time you let out a moan yourself. And you wonder if it's possible that he could finish like that. Without even being touched, just cumming to the image of _you_ feeling good.

Feeling bad, you grip at his hair. Wanting nothing more but for him to continue you pull him up. His lips are wet, and he's smiling down at you like he's just won the lottery.

“You taste good.”

You feel an intense blush spread across your cheeks, and he still just looks down at you not letting you hide it. You scoot yourself down slightly, to keep your head placed firmly on the mattress so you can look right back at him. You briefly wonder if he wants your lips to be wrapped around him. And you glance down at his dick. Heavy and leaking pre-cum.

Not even saying a word, you pull at his sweats and instantly he's pulling them down for you. You are already fully undressed for him, and you wonder if you should just nudge him to take them off. Thankfully you don't even have to, he's easily slipping them over his knees and taking them completely off, propping himself up on his knees on the bed, he looks at you. And you look at him fully exposed.

Jesus, he _really_ _is_ big. You wonder if you can even take all of it as you make your way towards him, immediately reaching out for it.

His body twitches in response to your touch, and he instantly places his hand on your cheek and looks at you.

“I've wanted to feel this for—fuck.” He breathes out in amazement. “a really long time.” You find it so endearing to know how badly he's wanted you. “It's so embarrassing. . .” he pulls his hands up to cover his face, and you take a moment to wet your lips before looking at him.

“Don't hide your face, Yunho. . .” You whisper before immediately placing a kiss to the head of his cock. The wetness coating your lips in a warm and salty heat that you find yourself not getting enough of.

He stutters at the feeling of you running your lips along his length before taking him into your mouth. And he watches closely at the way you take him deeper and deeper until your throat is restricting. He moans out at that, at the way you're trying to take his full length.

You don't mind choking, you like the feeling of him in your mouth. The weight of his cock against your tongue and the way he is moving his hand all over you, not stopping in one spot for too long. You realize he must not know what to do with himself. He's leaning back on one arm, watching you closely as you continue to lap away at his warm cock. He finds himself with an extra hand and wants nothing more than to guide your head like you did for him. But he doesn't know if you like that.

Your eyes shoot up to look at him as you struggle to breathe around him, and he is instantly moving his hand to the back of your head and pulling you off of him. “ _Breathe.”_

And you do, for just a moment before leaning back into him. But his hand in your hair keeps you in place.

“ _Breathe, Y/n.”_ He's practically moaning when he says it.

But you're so ready to have your mouth on him again, you look at him and try to catch your breath a bit more to satisfy him. It's kind of hot at the way he knows he's too big for your mouth, and that he wants you to stop to breathe in between. You feel so—cared for.

He stops you again when you go back in. And it's mostly because he feels _so good_ with your mouth around him. He knows he will cum way too fast if he feels your throat restrict against him again, and goddammit he wants this to last.

You look up at him in confusion, because you really want to do this for him but he keeps stopping you.

“Why wont you let me?” You question with a pout threatening to show on your face.

“I—I think I might cum too fast if--” His face is so red, and his breathing is heavy. You can see him instantly blush from embarrassment.

“Ah.” You respond instantly, nodding your head in a way of telling him you understand.

He moves his hand from your hair to your cheek and leaves it there. You feel so warm when he touches you this way, with him fully exposed in front of you it's hard to process what you want to do to him, what you want him to do to you.

Within a few moments, Yunho is between your legs again.

When he presses himself against you, easily sliding his cock up and down the slit of your heat-- not quite going in, but feeling his wetness mixed with yours provided a nice amount of friction for the both of you, as his head continuously hits your clit each time he moves his hips.

You shamelessly moan out for him, feeling so hot and enveloped by him again has you seeing stars, and he knows it. Focusing on your face each time he hits your clit, trying to control his own breathing each time the friction hits the sensitive head of his cock. He's so overwhelmed. He wants this so bad.

“Please--” You choke out, reaching up for him to close the gap between the two of you.

“Hm?” He hums in response, inches from your face.

He's really basking in this. He loves hearing you call out to him, asking him to do things to you. He feels so much love and passion for you right this moment, he would be stupid to not obey you.

“Talk to me, baby.”

And you do. You tell him how badly you need this. How you feel so stupid that it's taken you this long to realize, and how much you never want him to stop touching you. And he responds by talking you through your climax, fitting into you with ease as you both melt into a breathless pile of love.

  
  


~

  
  


“So, you _did_ know?” Seonghwa bites out, looking San in the eye.

And the way everyone is sitting so stiff is incredibly uncomfortable. San wants nothing more than to apologize to Wooyoung for being pulled into this situation. He wants to cry.

“I care so much about all of you Seonghwa!” San practically shouts in defense. “I told them both that they had to come clean!”

“And why didn't _you_ tell me?! Why did you let her just lie to me like that? Why did you lie to me?!”

San pauses, at a loss.

“It wasn't my fucking place to tell you. If it had gone on any longer I eventually would have told you myself. But I had to let her do it on her own. . . “

Hongjoong is just sitting there with Mingi, shocked that he has to witness everyone fall apart like this. He feels bad that suddenly he has someone to care for-- while everyone else seems to be losing what they had.

San and Seonghwa have been going at it for a while now though. And Seonghwa was not backing down even a little bit, spouting insults left and right about you and Yunho. At this point San has heard enough.

“Listen. Stop talking so much shit!” He gets up and looks directly at Seonghwa. “I understand that you're upset, but don't you fucking _dare_ talk about her like she never meant anything to you!”

“Maybe I'm realizing that she shouldn't have meant anything to me.” He shrugs back, not even the slightest bit sorry for what he's saying.

“Did you actually even love her?” San shakes his head with a laugh, because the fucking irony.

“She's was tearing herself apart over all of this, confused, and scared!” San doesn't stop. “And even after it happened, Yunho _understood_ if she wanted to stay with you, he _wouldn't have stopped her_ if she told him to never speak to her again!”

Seonghwa flinches at his words and looks away.

“He only ever wanted her to be happy! _We both knew he loved her_. But you just kept throwing it in his face.”

“If I were him, I would have done the same exact fucking thing, Seonghwa. And you know you would have too.”

And with that, San is walking away and dragging Wooyoung to his room with him. He's shaking with anger over the fact that Seonghwa isn't taking _any_ of the blame. Yeah, you cheated on him. Cheating is _unforgivable_. But Seonghwa knows he is partially to blame. He already admitted that he unknowingly set all of this shit up to happen. But why isn't he allowed to be angry?

Mingi finds himself agreeing with San, feeling a bit of pity over the fact that you seemed to have gotten yourself in a situation that you could barely control. Love is a really confusing thing, and more often than not-- someone gets their heart broken so the other can grow. Even Hongjoong can admit to have been hurt many times before, and he thinks that's why he attaches himself to any person who even shows him the slightest amount of kindness. Mingi on the other hand, had so much kindness to give and no one to give it to. He thinks they're lucky they found each other in the midst of someone else's heartbreak. It makes him want to hold his smaller boyfriend even closer to him now.

San on the other hand, had been trying so hard to help the situation, but he feels like he's only made it worse. The moment he's finally getting his own love life in order, everyone else is scaring Wooyoung away. He sits in his room in silence, shaking from anger as Wooyoung simply sits beside him with a breath.

“Should I go?”

San looks up at him, disappointed. “I mean, if I were you I would..”

“But?” Wooyoung questions, scooting a little closer to him.

“I didn't mean to drag you into this. _But_ I don't want you to leave.”

“Then I wont.” And he says it in such a cheerful voice San's heart nearly doubles in size.

Too much is happening too fast, and if the world weren't so fucked up you'd feel like it's a strange thing. But it isn't. Everyone just wants to love and be loved.

  
  


~

  
  


Hongjoong and Mingi eventually went home, leaving Seonghwa alone in the living room. And the silence was so deafening to him. For the first time all night he really let himself think about everything.

He realizes that maybe he didn't really love you. And that he did at least _care deeply_ for you. But did he truly deserve to keep you away from someone who wanted to give you the world? Did he deserve you? Did you deserve to be hidden away like a hidden treasure? Only shown off when it benefited his own ego?

Disgusted with himself, he takes a deep breath and looks up at the ceiling to keep himself from crying. He realizes that he did his best to make you happy, but the reality of the situation is that he could never give you what Yunho could and he's trying so hard to accept that. He doesn't understand or know how he managed to not understand this before. Maybe he was just too wrapped up in the passion of it that he hadn't realized how toxic it really was to all three of you.

San was right. If it had been Seonghwa on the sidelines. Knowing you are with someone who doesn't truly love you-- he would have jumped in an instant to take you away from that person. And here he is feeling _betrayed_ because you followed what your heart was telling you.

It's like a light switch was flipped in his head, but he's still so broken by the situation. He knows now that he didn't deserve you. Yunho had held on as long as he could, and he kind of commends him for lasting as long as he did while being completely in love with you.

Trying so hard to understand why he did the things he did, why he felt the need to get reactions out of Yunho for his own gain. Seonghwa realizes he really went out of his way just to hurt someone else, and now he's starting to hate himself.

He—can't process anything else. The only thing he does seem to acknowledge is that Yunho really loves you. And _that's_ why he let you slip through his fingers. Yunho thought that Seonghwa was going to be your happiness, so he sat back and suffered for you.

Seonghwa wants to hit himself over this. He was really insulting you, insulting Yunho for doing what made you happy. Only because it was at his own expense, but when he really thinks about it-- Seonghwa realizes that if you had left him out of boredom or just wanting to try something new. . He wouldn't even be this hurt. He very easily could move on and stay friends with you. Because he didn't love you at all as a life partner. He loved you, yes, but-- not like Yunho did.

Your happiness _is_ Yunho. And Seonghwa suddenly feels the need to fix this. He knows he's allowed to be angry, and sad. But he feels like he just wants to accept it and let it be over. He shouldn't fight for someone he doesn't even truly love, and he certainly shouldn't stand in the way and belittle you.

After a while, he falls asleep on the couch. Noting that he needs to talk to San. Noting that he needs to call Yunho. And most of all, he wants to see you.

~

  
  



End file.
